


A Quiznacking Space Road Trip (Voltron Chat Fic)

by cratersofcallisto



Series: How To Fuck Up An Intergalactic Space War (AKA Corrupting The Aliens) [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aromantic Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Allura (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Canon May Joss This, Chatting & Messaging, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Eventual Keith/Lance (Voltron), F/F, F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Galra Keith (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Hunk & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, Hunk (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Hunk (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Hunk (Voltron) is so Pure, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Going to Hell, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Italian Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Fluff, Keith/Lance (Voltron)-centric, Krolia (Voltron) is a Good Parent, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Has ADHD, Lance (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Lance (Voltron) Has Self-Esteem Issues, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lesbian Romelle (Voltron), M/M, Minor Acxa/Veronica (Voltron), Minor Allura/Romelle (Voltron), Minor Hunk/Shay (Voltron), Oblivious Keith (Voltron), Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Parental Krolia (Voltron), Past Allura/Lotor (Voltron), Pidge | Katie Holt is Savage, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Keith/Lance (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Pride, Protective Krolia (Voltron), Protective Shiro (Voltron), SO MANY TAGS!!, Samoan Hunk (Voltron), Sassy Pidge | Katie Holt, Slow Burn Keith/Lance (Voltron), Soft Keith/Lance (Voltron), Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Space Uncle Coran (Voltron), Supportive Coran (Voltron), Supportive Krolia (Voltron), Swearing, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Weirdness, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2019-11-27 04:05:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18189539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cratersofcallisto/pseuds/cratersofcallisto
Summary: Just a bunch of shenanigans that happen during the Paladin's journey back to Earth and during/after the war. Basically Incorrect Voltron Incidents/Quotes.yeet enjoy





	1. Chapter 1

Here, have a Voltron chat fic. I haven't really seen many of them on ArchiveOfOurOwn or Wattpad, so I decided to make one of my own!

 

Buckle up, kiddos. Let's get this bread.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters are introduced and plotlines are created!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Username Key!  
> Shiro = Takashi Shirogane / ActuallyDead / HoneyNutShirios  
> Keith = Keith Kogane / Mullet / #1Gay  
> Lance = Lance McClain / TheUltimateBiSpy  
> Pidge = Katie Holt / SassyBinch  
> Hunk = Hunk Garrett / 100%CinnamonRoll  
> Allura = Allura / QueenOfAllQueens  
> Coran = Coran  
> Romelle = Romelle / LostChild  
> Krolia = Krolia / PurpleCrayon  
> Matt = Matthew Holt / NinjaJediHitchhiker
> 
> Ships!  
> Keith/Lance (Klance)  
> Allura/Romelle (Romellura)

_[_ ** _Katie Holt_ ** _added_ **_Lance McClain_ ** _,_ **_Keith Kogane_ ** _,_ **_Hunk Garrett_ ** _,_ **_Takashi Shirogane_ ** _,_ **_Allura_ ** _,_ **_Coran_ ** _,_ **_Romelle_ ** _,_ **_Krolia_ ** _and_ **_Matthew Holt_ ** _to_ _unnamed chat_ ]

 _[_ ** _Katie Holt_ ** _renamed_ _unnamed chat_ _to_ _Voltron Squad_ _]_

 **Katie Holt:** what’s up nerds

 _[_ ** _Allura_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _Hunk Garrett_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _Lance McClain_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _Keith Kogane_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _Takashi Shirogane_ ** _is online]_

 **Allura:** What is this?

 **Katie Holt:** it’s a group chat so we can communicate when we aren't in the same area. or just in general (like when you don’t have the energy or motivation to talk). and i also added a talk-to-text feature since it’s convenient. there are also private chats and other stuff

 **Katie Holt:** also it’s just for entertainment and road trip purposes

 **Allura:** I see. Hello, everyone!

 **Hunk Garrett:** hi allura!

 _[_ ** _Lance McClain_ ** _changed their name to_ **_TheUltimateBiSpy_** _]_

 _[_ ** _TheUltimateBiSpy_ ** _changed_ **_Hunk Garrett_** _’s name to_ ** _100%CinnamonRoll_** _]_

 **Katie Holt:** the perfect name for a perfect boy

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** aww, guys!

 _[_ ** _TheUltimateBiSpy_ ** _changed_ **_Katie Holt_** _’s name to_ **_SassyBinch_** _]_

 **Keith Kogane** : i mean, he’s not wrong

 _[_ ** _TheUltimateBiSpy_ ** _changed_ **_Allura_** _’s name to_ **_QueenOfAllQueens_** _]_

 _[_ ** _TheUltimateBiSpy_ ** _changed_ **_Keith Kogane_** _’s name to_ **_Mullet_** _]_

 _[_ ** _TheUltimateBiSpy_ ** _changed_ **_Takashi Shirogane_** _’s name to_ **_SpaceDad_** _]_

 **SpaceDad** : no

 _[_ ** _SpaceDad_ ** _changed their name to_ **_ActuallyDead_** _]_

 _[_ ** _ActuallyDead_ ** _changed_ **_Mullet_** _’s name to_ **_#1Gay_** _]_

 **#1Gay:** oh my god

 **SassyBinch:** oh? >:3c

 **ActuallyDead:**  come on, keith. everyone’s at least a little bit gay, and you’re alotta bit gay

 **#1Gay:** no u

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** you’re gay, shiro is gay, i’m pan, pidge is obviously ace

 **SassyBinch:** woot woot

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** and lance is bi

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** wow, thanks for coming out for me hunk!

 **#1Gay:** as if your username didn’t give it away already

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** oh yeah? yours isn’t much better, pretty boy!

 **#1Gay:** blame shiro not me!

 **ActuallyDead:** hey!

 **#1Gay:** wait

 **#1Gay:**  lance, did you just call me pretty?

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** uhhhhhh

 **SassyBinch:** gayyyyyyyyyyyy

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** :3

 _[_ ** _Matthew Holt_ ** _is online]_

 **Matthew Holt:** ayyyy what’d i miss?

 **SassyBinch:** you missed two boys that are probably super gay for eachother being oblivious

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** wHAt

 **Matthew Holt:** alright, let’s not panic!

 **Matthew Holt:** at the disco

 **#1Gay:**  [emo gasp]

 _[_ ** _Romelle_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _Krolia_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _Coran_ ** _is online]_

 **Romelle:** What’s happening?

 **QueenOfAllQueens:** This is Allura, and I honestly don’t know.

 **#1Gay:** MOM

 **#1Gay:** MOM

 **#1Gay:** MOOOOOOOMMMM

 **Krolia:** WHaT

 **#1Gay** : hi

 **Krolia:** Hello Keith.

 **Matthew Holt:** Krolia, were you lurking?

**Krolia:**

**Krolia: ...** No

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** she was lurking

 **Matthew Holt:** Krolia is a lurker confirmed

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** Krolurker

 **Krolia:** I feel personally attacked right now.

 _[_ ** _#1Gay_ ** _changed_ **_Krolia_** _’s name to_ **_PurpleCrayon_** _]_

 **PurpleCrayon:** Keith, I love you but please, spare your mother.

 **Matthew Holt:** aww look at that! two hermits bonding!

 **#1Gay:** ASDFGHJKLQWERTYUIOPZXCVBNM

 **ActuallyDead:**  matt, I forgot to remind you but DON’T use the b word around keith

 **Matthew Holt:** the swear?

 **Matthew Holt:** ohhhHhhh ‘bonding’

 **ActuallyDead:**  /Matt/

 **#1Gay:** i cAN’t BelIEvE lAncE dOeSn’T ReMEmbEr iT

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** soRRY i waS hAlFWay In a COMA

 **Matthew Holt:** whoops

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** i think pidge is enjoying this tea

 **SassyBinch:** Beep Boop Bitch

 **ActuallyDead:**  pidge, language

 **#1Gay:** yeah, except you swear and you’re practically our father figure

 **ActuallyDead:**  that’s the point, because I get unlimited free passes to swear and ultimately still ground you all for a week

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** ouch

 _[_ ** _Matthew Holt_ ** _changed_ **_ActuallyDead_** _’s name to_ **_HoneyNutShirios_** _]_

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  why do I even put up with you

 **SassyBinch:** you have no choice

**HoneyNutShirios:**

**HoneyNutShirios:**  yeah ok

 _[_ ** _Matthew Holt_ ** _changed their name to_ **_NinjaJediHitchhiker_** _]_

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:**  i was reminded of star wars and a hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy all in one go

 **PurpleCrayon:** Why do our usernames have no spaces in between words?

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** it’s more efficient this way

 **PurpleCrayon:** That’s actually sensible

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** what’s everyone’s favorite band/singer?

 **#1Gay:** where is this coming from

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** idk i’m bored

 **#1Gay:** well, i like mcr and panic

 **SassyBinch:** that’s not surprising

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** that’s super emo

 **#1Gay:** shut up

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** i like listening to songs about friendship

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** awwwwww hunk!

 **SassyBinch:** what a wonderful sunshine boy

 **SassyBinch:** i listen to whatever the heck is on. i’ll even listen to tv static if I’m into it

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** i like mother mother, ok go, the antlers, two door cinema club, glass animals, passion pit, etc

 **Romelle:** What is this band/singer?

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** have you heard of music?

 **Romelle:** The colony never listened to music, but I remember my mother used to sing to me such beautiful lullabies. Her voice was like an angel, and she looked so pretty when she sang.

 **Coran:** Allura, your mother and father sang ancient Altean lullabies to you when you were a child. I always like happy, upbeat music.

 **QueenOfAllQueens:** Yes, I remember…. But Romelle, you said that the colony never listened to music. How did your mother know the lullabies?

 **Romelle:** My father told me that she always loved making up lullabies, because she believed that they would be more special to me and Bandor.

 **QueenOfAllQueens:** Oh, that is so sweet of her! If you’d like, I can perhaps sing one of the Altean lullabies that my father once sang to me.

 **Romelle:** That would be wonderful, Allura, thank you. <3

 **Coran:** What is <3??

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** it’s a heart! i showed romelle some simple text symbols when she was getting bored

 **QueenOfAllQueens:** Well, then you're welcome Romelle. <3

 

 

_100%CinnamonRoll > SassyBinch_

**100%CinnamonRoll:** owo what’s this?

 **SassyBinch:** owo

 

 

_Voltron Squad_

**HoneyNutShirios:**  i like listening to podcasts

 **SassyBinch:** what a dad

 

 

_#1Gay > HoneyNutShirios _

**#1Gay:** Shiro

 **HoneyNutShirios:** don’t. you. dare

 **#1Gay:** hehehhehe

 

 

_Voltron Squad_

**#1Gay:** he also listens to backstreet boys

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

 **HoneyNutShirios:** AAAAAAAAA

 _[_ ** _HoneyNutShirios_ ** _is offline]_

 **#1Gay:** wait shiro

 **#1Gay:** what are you doing??

 _[_ ** _#1Gay_ ** _is offline]_

 **SassyBinch:** *scooby doo voice* ruh roh

 **PurpleCrayon:** He’s dangling my son outside of the mouth of the Black Lion

 **PurpleCrayon:** This man is a legend

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:**  keEF no

 **NinjaJediHitchhiker:** you know he had to do it to ‘im

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** wait, how can you dangle him with only one arm?

 _[_ ** _HoneyNutShirios_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _#1Gay_ ** _is online]_

 **HoneyNutShirios:** It’s called godly advantage

 **#1Gay:** i've been betrayed

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** KEITH

 **HoneyNutShirios:** I don't even listen to them anymore

 **#1Gay:** yeah, because we're in space and probably have no access to earth music from here. i heard you humming I Want It That Way yesterday on that planet where we stayed to charge the lions

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** I WAS SO CONCERNED FOR THE RED BOY THAT IS KEEF

 **#1Gay:** Jesus said chill

 **SassyBinch:** there is no Jesus

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** sbhwhdhbehsjsuwijdnd

 

 

_TheUltimateBiSpy > #1Gay _

**TheUltimateBiSpy:** but seriously keith

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** i actually was lowkey concerned

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** but only lowkey because i know shiro wouldn't drop you but i was still worried and

 **#1Gay:**  lance calm down its okay

 **#1Gay:** but you were legitimately worried about me?

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:**  keith, buddy, i'll always be worried about you

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** and the rest of the team too of course

 **#1Gay:** i always worry about you too

 **#1Gay:** and the team

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** yeah

 **#1Gay:** heh

 

 

_SassyBinch > #1Gay _

**SassyBinch:** i can smell your pining from here

 **#1Gay:** what the- how???

 **SassyBinch:** don't question my knowledge, kogane. i have blackmail

 **#1Gay:** whoa there okay

 **#1Gay:** but i never told you about it?? only shiro knows, and i know he wouldn't tell anyone anything without asking first…

 **SassyBinch:** do you /really/ doubt my formidable erudition?

 **SassyBinch:** i've hacked into a high-tech military facility to create a fake identity and they never noticed. i've tapped into galra intel, radio chatter, and security systems without anyone suspecting something. i have the highest level of intelligence than you, hunk, lance, shiro, allura, coran, krolia, and romelle combined. i saw the look in your eyes when you held hands during the bonding moment™, i’ve noticed how you go from edgy to soft in 2 seconds because of lance. i catch you staring fondly at him. i see how jealous you get whenever lance flirts with other people

 **SassyBinch:** why the /fuck/ would i not know about your obvious gay feels for lance, you absolute twink

**#1Gay:**

**#1Gay:** ack

 **#1Gay:** wait, they’re that obvious?? does lance know??? is that why he’s been acting distant lately? because he knows?

 **SassyBinch:** jeez keith, slow down

 **SassyBinch:**  lance is oblivious af, there’s almost no way he would notice. if he did, he probably would have already talked to you, you know how he can be

 **#1Gay:** ok, but i doubt that he likes me back. you’ve seen how he flirts with people he likes, and he’s never flirted with me or said nice things about me!

 **SassyBinch:** or maybe he HAS flirted with you and said nice things but you’re also oblivious

 **#1Gay:** he- what?

 **SassyBinch:** for example: he calls you ‘samurai’, he was the first one to support you when you became the black paladin, he got super depressed when you left, when you came back he was super happy to see you, “i chose keith. he’s our leader plus he’s half galra, so i think he’s like, the future”

 **#1Gay:** o-oh

 **SassyBinch:** yeah

 **SassyBinch:** go get him, tiger

 

 

_Voltron Squad_

**NinjaJediHitchhiker:** yoo the chat got really quiet for a couple minutes

 **NinjaJediHitchhiker:** did Voltron get yeeted again?

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** nah, we’re here. i was watching coran play with the mice

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:**  romelle is starting to nod off and i was just thinking about… stuff…

 **#1Gay:**  shiro’s asleep and krolia is brooding in the corner, and pidge and i were talking

 **SassyBinch:** ye

 **SassyBinch:** I can hear over the comms that allura is /trying/ to get along with kosmo

 **NinjaJediHitchhiker:** what were you thinking about lance?

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** someone

 **#1Gay:** .. oh….. who were you thinking about?

 **SassyBinch:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **#1Gay:** shut

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** was it allura

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** i was just thinking about a person! ok!? and this time it wasn’t allura!

 **SassyBinch:** i see

 

 

_100%CinnamonRoll > TheUltimateBiSpy _

**100%CinnamonRoll:** soooooooooo

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:**  hunk no

 **100%CinnamonRoll:**  hunk yes

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** i know what you’re about to do and you better not do it

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** darn

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** but you’re my best friend and my bro

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** ,,

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** do i need to make the eyes

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** fine fine. promise you won’t say anything?

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** cross my heart

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** i was just thinking about someone i ‘met’ at the garrison, and he’s amazing at everything and he’s so nice and pretty and

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** it’s keith isn’t it

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** yeah it’s keith

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** i knew it. you can’t just keep this stuff from me, man

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** but I'm 85% sure that keith doesn't know

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** thank Jesus

 

 

»●°.✩※✩.°●«

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some minor angst for the soul!!
> 
> The ship game isn't very strong in this chapter, but it gets stronger in the next chapter or two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Username Key!  
> Shiro = HoneyNutShirios  
> Keith = #1Gay  
> Lance = TheUltimateBiSpy / ambuLANCE  
> Pidge = SassyBinch  
> Hunk = 100%CinnamonRoll  
> Allura = QueenOfAllQueens  
> Coran = Coran / CoranicMechanic  
> Romelle = Romelle / LostChild  
> Krolia = PurpleCrayon  
> Matt = NinjaJediHitchhiker  
> Ships!  
> Keith/Lance (Klance)

_Voltron Squad_

_[_ ** _Coran_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _Coran_ ** _changed their name to_ **_CoranicMechanic_** _]_

 _[_ ** _TheUltimateBiSpy_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _#1Gay_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _TheUltimateBiSpy_ ** _changed_ **_Romelle_ ** _’s name to_ **_LostChild_** _]_

 _[_ ** _LostChild_ ** _is online]_

 **#1Gay:** so fitting

 _[_ ** _100%CinnamonRoll_ ** _is online]_

 **CoranicMechanic:** Paladins! We're nearing a small, habitable planet that seems to have no civilians. We will land there to recharge the Lions, and we will arrive in about a varga and 45 doboshes.

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** alrighty

 _[_ ** _CoranicMechanic_ ** _is offline]_

 **LostChild:** I’m here.

 **#1Gay:** and i’m queer

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:**  keith sjdgsjfhjdjnj

 _[_ ** _SassyBinch_ ** _is online]_

 **SassyBinch:** i can’t relate

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** we know pidge

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** we been knew

 _[_ ** _SassyBinch_ ** _is offline]_

 **TheUltimateBiSpy** : tfw you're having an emotional crisis

 **#1Gay:** what

 **TheUltimateBiSpy:** what

 _[_ ** _TheUltimateBiSpy_ ** _is offline]_

_[ **LostChild**_ _is offline]_

_[_ ** _100%CinnamonRoll_ ** _is offline]_

 _[_ ** _#1Gay_ ** _is offline]_

 

 

 

 

_Voltron Squad_

_[_ ** _TheUltimateBiSpy_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _TheUltimateBiSpy_ ** _changed their name to_ **_ambuLANCE_** _]_

 **ambuLANCE:** have you ever realised that cucumbers and zucchini are like, distant relatives but half-siblings?

 _[_ ** _HoneyNutShirios_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _#1Gay_ ** _is online]_

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  lance, what?

 **ambuLANCE:** it’s just one of those days

 **ambuLANCE:** hey, keith do you put peanuts in your coca cola?

 **#1Gay:** what no

 **#1Gay:** why

 **ambuLANCE:** well apparently southerners put peanuts in their coke, and you lived in the texan desert for a while

 **#1Gay:** i'm just gonna stop you right there

 **#1Gay:** A) that's weird B) that's weird and C) stop making fun of me for living in texas

 **ambuLANCE:** aw y’all never let me have fun

 **ambuLANCE:** this ain't fair

 **#1Gay:** no more

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  hey keith remember that one time at walmart

 **#1Gay:** don't remind me

 **HoneyNutShirios:** when you found a cowboy hat and sang to cotton eye joe

 **ambuLANCE:** i wanna be a cowboy, baby

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  there’s a snake in my boot!

 **#1Gay:** i wish i stole someone else’s car now

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  too late little brother

 _[_ ** _QueenOfAllQueens_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _CoranicMechanic_ ** _is online]_

 **QueenOfAllQueens:** You two are brothers?

 **#1Gay:** not by blood

 **CoranicMechanic:** So, you and Shiro aren’t related along bloodlines, but you can feel a familial bond so strong that it’s almost as if you are brethren??

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  yeah, basically

 _[_ ** _SassyBinch_ ** _is online]_

 **SassyBinch:** guys, is that planet ahead the one that we’re landing on?

 **CoranicMechanic:** Yes, Number 5! That’s the one!

 **SassyBinch:** see you losers soon!

 _[_ ** _SassyBinch_ ** _is offline]_

 _[_ ** _CoranicMechanic_ ** _is offline]_

 _[_ ** _QueenOfAllQueens_ ** _is offline]_

 _[_ ** _#1Gay_ ** _is offline]_

 _[_ ** _HoneyNutShirios_ ** _is offline]_

 _[_ ** _ambuLANCE_ ** _is offline]_

 

 

 

 

_Voltron Squad_

_[_ ** _#1Gay_ ** _is online]_

 **#1Gay:** hey has anyone seen lance??

 _[_ ** _100%CinnamonRoll_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _SassyBinch_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _HoneyNutShirios_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _LostChild_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _QueenOfAllQueens_ ** _is online]_

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** now that i think about it, no

 **SassyBinch:** maybe he wandered off?

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  i think we would’ve noticed if he snuck away

 **#1Gay:** yeah, like we noticed he was missing??

 **HoneyNutShirios:** … touché

 **SassyBinch:** ngl i read that as touchy, like 'tuhch-ee'

 **LostChild:** I think I saw him heading for a cliff earlier.

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** he what

 **QueenOfAllQueens:** I see him! He’s sitting up on the top of the gorge to our right, with his back to us.

 **#1Gay:** i’ve noticed that something has been off about him ever since i got back….. is he okay?

 **SassyBinch:** …..

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** i’m not sure, i haven’t really talked to him about that

 **QueenOfAllQueens:** He has seemed down lately, and he’s been very distant.

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  i have some of my clone’s memories, and he really bullied lance the most

 **SassyBinch:** I haven’t seen much of him since you left for the blades

 **#1Gay:** so NO ONE has talked to lance about his emotions and NO ONE knows if he’s okay?

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** i know lance wouldn’t have wanted me to tell you guys this, but back before the garrison he was diagnosed with mild depression. lance told me it went away and i believed him, but the way he’s been acting lately is like before but 10x worse

 **#1Gay:** someone’s gotta talk to him

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  maybe we should leave him alone for now, we can figure this out once we’ve gotten some rest

 **QueenOfAllQueens:** Shiro is right, it’s almost dusk.

 _[_ ** _SassyBinch_ ** _is offline]_

 _[_ ** _100%CinnamonRoll_ ** _is offline]_

 _[_ ** _QueenOfAllQueens_ ** _is offline]_

 _[_ ** _#1Gay_ ** _is offline]_

 _[_ ** _HoneyNutShirios_ ** _is offline]_

 

 

 

 

_Voltron Squad_

_[_ ** _ambuLANCE_ ** _is online]_

 **ambuLANCE:** guys, i scrolled up and

 **ambuLANCE:** don’t worry! i was only watching the sunset

 _[_ ** _#1Gay_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _SassyBinch_ ** _is online]_

 **SassyBinch:** are you sure?

 **ambuLANCE:** totally

 **#1Gay:** i smell bullshit

 **ambuLANCE:** i’m FINE guys! i was just thinking about my family while staring into the distance

 **SassyBinch:** if you say so

 _[_ ** _100%CinnamonRoll_ ** _is online]_

 **ambuLANCE:**  hunk!

 **100%CinnamonRoll:**  lance!

 **ambuLANCE:** you… told them..?

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** i felt like they deserved to know…

 **ambuLANCE:** yeah well, i didn’t want them to find out, for way too many reasons

 **ambuLANCE:** i know you had good intentions, but i thought i could trust you

 **100%CinnamonRoll:**  lance please

 **ambuLANCE:** just leave me alone, please

 _[_ ** _ambuLANCE_ ** _is offline]_

 **SassyBinch:** oh hunk

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** it’s fine, we just

 **100%CinnamonRoll:**  lance is the one we should be worrying about

 

 

 

 

_Voltron Squad_

**ambuLANCE:** yo fam what is GOOD

 **ambuLANCE:** can we discuss something extremely important and crucial to my existence??

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** yeah what?

 **ambuLANCE:** well before in the village, i saw a green alien and so naturally i said “it's dat boi!”

 **SassyBinch:** of course

 **ambuLANCE:** but then i hear someone behind me say “oh shit whaddup” but i didn’t exactly hear what they sounded like

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** wait really?

 **SassyBinch:** we have a dilemma

 **ambuLANCE:** that we do

 **SassyBinch:** something doesn’t add up

 **ambuLANCE:** who

 **SassyBinch:** said

 **ambuLANCE:** it?

 **#1Gay:** that was scary, are you two mentally linked??

 **SassyBinch:** per

 **ambuLANCE:** haps

 **#1Gay:** fair enough

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** well it couldn’t have been me or pidge, we were ahead of you guys looking at tech and food

 **#1Gay:** it wasn’t me

 **SassyBinch:** and it obviously wasn’t shiro, allura, coran, krolia, romelle, or any of the residents (the aliens have no idea what a second even is, so i am 3,000% sure they don’t know what a meme is)

 **ambuLANCE:** it would have been uncultured of me to reply to myself

 **SassyBinch:** so

 **ambuLANCE:** who

 **SassyBinch:** did

 **ambuLANCE:** it?

 **#1Gay:** i know who it was

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** WHAT?!

 **ambuLANCE:** TELL

 **SassyBinch:** US

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** SPILL

 **ambuLANCE:** THAT

 **SassyBinch:** TEA

 **#1Gay:** it was no one and lance is hearing things

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** yeah.. lets just drop it for now

 **SassyBinch:** aw

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** espECIALLY SINCE THERE’S A BIG SPACE MONSTER RIGHT OVER THERE

 **ambuLANCE:** AAAAAAA

 _[_ ** _SassyBinch_ ** _is offline]_

 _[_ ** _ambuLANCE_ ** _is offline]_

 _[_ ** _100%CinnamonRoll_ ** _is offline]_

 

 

_#1Gay > HoneyNutShirios_

**#1Gay** : I know it was you

 **HoneyNutShirios** : please don't say anything to anyone

 **#1Gay:**  dw I wasn't going to

 

 

»●°.※✩※.°●«

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wasn't very creative, I think. Hopefully this work will have more creativity soon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's where things start to get fucking random and crazy.  
> This chapter is mainly Truth or Dare, because if you're on a road trip in space with nothing to do but talk, text, or get lost in your thoughts, of course you're gonna rely on super old, stale 'party' games.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Username Key!  
> Shiro = HoneyNutShirios  
> Keith = #1Gay / TooGay / TooGayForLance / InterGAYlactic  
> Lance = ambuLANCE  
> Pidge = SassyBinch / Aardvark  
> Hunk = 100%CinnamonRoll / KazooKid  
> Allura = QueenOfAllQueens / She’sAKillerQueen  
> Coran = CoranicMechanic  
> Romelle = LostChild / ButterflyElf  
> Krolia = PurpleCrayon  
> Matt = Mattsquito  
> Acxa = Acxa / AcxauallyILikeGirls 
> 
> Ships!  
> Keith/Lance (Klance)  
> Romelle/Allura (Romellura)

  _Voltron Squad_

 _[_ ** _SassyBinch_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _SassyBinch_ ** _renamed_ _Voltron Squad_ _to_ _Ungrateful Ants_ _]_

 _[_ ** _NinjaJediHitchhiker_ ** _is online]_

 **NinjaJediHitchhiker:** hey, the chat’s up and running again!

 _[_ ** _ambuLANCE_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _100%CinnamonRoll_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _SassyBinch_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _HoneyNutShirios_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _LostChild_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _QueenOfAllQueens_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _#1Gay_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _CoranicMechanic_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _PurpleCrayon_ ** _is online]_

 **SassyBinch:** thou art righteth, dearest brother

 **SassyBinch:** i killed the chat a few days ago so i could fiddle around and add some features

 **ambuLANCE:** oooooooo what’d you add

 **SassyBinch:** screenshots, we can edit the designs/backgrounds of specific chats, video chats, profile pics, sending pics/videos, y’know, the basics

 **ambuLANCE:** owo owo

 **NinjaJediHitchhiker:** uwu

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** gasp

 **100%CinnamonRoll:**  matt you didn’t just do that

 **HoneyNutShirios:** ?

 **ambuLANCE:** uh oh not again

 **SassyBinch:** oof

 **100%CinnamonRoll:**  you have committed a sin too great to be wiped clean. you have carelessly insulted the entity of every mcclain in existence. most importantly, you have punctured the abilities of none other than leandro charles mcclain in order to cover up your own flexible range.

 **#1Gay:** i don’t know what’s going on but i'm scared

 **NinjaJediHitchhiker:** wait what did i even do wrong

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** i would tell you but then i would be committing the same sin

 **100%CinnamonRoll:**  leandro charles mcclain would you please demonstrate for the class

 **ambuLANCE:** uwu

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** thank you. only the mcclains have the right to do that

 **ambuLANCE:** but hunk, you're an honorary mcclain, so you do too

 **HoneyNutShirios:** so your real name isn’t actually lance?

 **ambuLANCE:** nope! it’s actually leandro, lance is just a nickname

 **SassyBinch:**  keith how’s it going over there

 **#1Gay:** i- he- what-

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** that’s how you know you’re too gay for your own good

 **SassyBinch:** he has reached new levels

 _[_ ** _HoneyNutShirios_ ** _changed_ **_#1Gay_ ** _’s name to_ **_TooGay_** _]_

 **TooGay:** yes

 _[ **ambuLANCE**_ _changed_ **_TooGay_ ** _’s name to_ **_TooGayForLance_** _]_

 **TooGayForLance:** yes

 **SassyBinch:**  keith you might wanna restate that

 **TooGayForLance:** wait no-8if7wydtet2h1h

 **HoneyNutShirios:** uh oh spaghettios

 **TooGayForLance:** fheuahvfdhfs nb2uy712ehdb  bzkosmo just teleported over here with lance and i panicked

 **ambuLANCE:** i fell on him

 **TooGayForLance:** no you practically tackled me

 **ambuLANCE:** i tackled him

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** oh?

 **SassyBinch:** kinky,, lenny face

 **NinjaJediHitchhiker:** you just typed out “lenny face”

 **SassyBinch:** y’all i’m too lazy

 **TooGayForLance:** n O piD g E

 **ambuLANCE:** NO i didn’t even realize that kosmo was gonna dump me on top of this edgelord

 **ambuLANCE:** he was probably gonna teleport to keith i doubt that he meant to drag me along

 **ambuLANCE:** alrighty i'm back in red

 **ambuLANCE:** oKAy who wants to play truth or dare?

 **SassyBinch:** yesyesyes

 **PurpleCrayon:** Sure, Keith's father taught me how

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** of course!

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  why not? it's a good opportunity to get closer as a team as well as friends

 **NinjaJediHitchhiker:** aw yee

 **QueenOfAllQueens:** Truth or Dare is a very popular universal game, of course I'll play!

 **CoranicMechanic:** Seconded!

 **LostChild:** Me too

 **TooGayForLance:** i don't know…

 **ambuLANCE:** pleeeeaaaseeee

 **TooGayForLance:** well..

 **ambuLANCE:**  

 **TooGayForLance:** don't do it

 **ambuLANCE:** …

 **ambuLANCE:** keef

 **TooGayForLance:** fine

 **SassyBinch:** O_O

 **CoranicMechanic:** OOH! I’ll go first!!

 **CoranicMechanic:** Shiro!! Truth or Dare?

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  truth

 **CoranicMechanic:** What’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you?

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  death

 **TooGayForLance:** of course

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  pidge, truth or dare

 **SassyBinch:** dare

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  i dare you to insult science

 **SassyBinch:** yo i have the inability to do that

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  alright then, i dare you to insult someone using science

 **SassyBinch:** hey lance, are you composed of barium, silicon, carbon, bismuth, technetium and hydrogen?

 **SassyBinch:** cause you’re a Ba Si C  Bi Tc H

 **ambuLANCE:** ;~;

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** hue

 **SassyBinch:**  keith t or d

 **TooGayForLance:** truth bitch

 **SassyBinch:** do you have a crush on anyone?

 **TooGayForLance:** ………….. yes

 **TooGayForLance:** and for the record, you already knew that so fuck you

 **TooGayForLance:** also,

 _[ **T**_ ** _ooGayForLance_ ** _changed their name to_ **_InterGAYlactic_** _]_

 **ambuLANCE:**  keith… did you just…….

 **InterGAYlactic:** make a pun? yeah

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** HAHAH i get it! it’s because you’re half galra and gay! o man that’s great

 

 

_ambuLANCE_ > _100%CinnamonRoll_

**ambuLANCE:** hEs sO aDOraBlE aaaAAAAaaaaAAaaAaAaAaAAAAAAAA

 

 

_Ungrateful Ants_

**InterGAYlactic:** ok uhh hunk truth or dare

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** uh oh.. truth??

 **HoneyNutShirios:** don’t worry hunk, it’s physically impossible for anyone to harm you in any way

 **HoneyNutShirios:** you only have to be afraid of pidge

 **NinjaJediHitchhiker:**  pidge is a fuccin rat who lives in the vents

 **SassyBinch:** ssssssssssssssssss

 **InterGAYlactic:** oh god

 **InterGAYlactic:** anyway hunk, what’s your biggest pet peeve

 **InterGAYlactic:** i wanna know so i don’t mess up in some way and get on hunk’s bad side

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** wELL,,

 **ambuLANCE:** oH no

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** my biggest pet peeve is when SOMEONE pours my favorite cereal down the drain

 **ambuLANCE:** wow would you look at the time!!! gotta go!!

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** i will NEVER forget that lance!! you know how much i loved those fruit loops!!

 **ambuLANCE:** well soRRY that i reacted in such a way when you THREW MY SKETCHBOOK OUT THE WINDOW

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT

 **QueenOfAllQueens:** Paladins! Please calm down!

 **ambuLANCE:** OH SURE IT WAS AN “ACCIDENT”

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** IT WAS!! I TRIPPED AND IT FLEW OUT OF MY HAND!!!!

 **SassyBinch:** guys please

 **ambuLANCE:** OH PLEASE, YOU’RE MORE GRACEFUL THAN I AM!! YOU ARE LIKE THE DEFINITION OF UNTRIPPABLE

 **InterGAYlactic:** it’s really unnatural to see you guys fight, i don’t like this

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** THANK YOU, BUT I DON’T THINK THAT ‘UNTRIPPABLE’ IS A WORD

 **ambuLANCE:** BrO

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** bRO

 **ambuLANCE:** BRO

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** BROOOOoooOOO

 **CoranicMechanic:** this is extremely unsettling

 **SassyBinch:** guys!! you’re scaring the baby!

 **PurpleCrayon:** What baby? There is no baby with us?

 **InterGAYlactic:** shiro

 **CoranicMechanic:** but Shiro isn’t-

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  i'm fragile, okay??

 **ambuLANCE:** fine… i’m sorry hunk

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** i’m sorry too buddy

 **ambuLANCE:** bbtwneleoitrotawseonmwsbscow??

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** bbtweneleoitrotawseonmwsbscow

 **NinjaJediHitchhiker:** what

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** it means ‘best bros that will never ever leave each other in the roughest of times and will support each other no matter what stupid bs comes our way’

 **InterGAYlactic:** do i even want to know

 **ambuLANCE:** it’s our bro slogan

 **100%CinnamonRoll:**  krolia t or d

 **PurpleCrayon:** Truth

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** i heard somewhere that keith wasn’t originally going to be “keith”. what were you going to name him before you changed your mind?

 **SassyBinch:** oh?

 **PurpleCrayon:** Well, Keith’s father changed my mind and we decided on Keith Akira Kogane, but I wanted his name to be Yorak

 **100%CinnamonRoll:** omg

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  i think i’m dying again

 **ambuLANCE:** iM cRyIng

 **LostChild:** Don’t cry??

 **SassyBinch:** hOlY sHiT tHaT’s FuCkIn HiLaRiOuS

 **InterGAYlactic:** MOM

 **CoranicMechanic:** I don’t see what’s so funny about this.

 **QueenOfAllQueens:** Well I think it’s a lovely name.

 **PurpleCrayon:** Thank you princess. But I think that Keith’s father had the better idea.

 **PurpleCrayon:** Alright, Lance truth or dare?

 **ambuLANCE:** dare

 **PurpleCrayon:** Change the usernames of 4 people

 **ambuLANCE:** bet

 _[_ ** _ambuLANCE_ ** _changed_ **_LostChild_ ** _’s name to_ **_ButterflyElf_** _]_

 _[_ ** _ambuLANCE_ ** _changed_ **_QueenOfAllQueens_ ** _‘s name to_ **_She’sAKillerQueen_** _]_

 _[_ ** _ambuLANCE_ ** _changed_ **_NinjaJediHitchhiker_ ** _’s name to_ **_Mattsquito_** _]_

 _[_ ** _ambuLANCE_ ** _changed_ **_100%CinnamonRoll_ ** _’s name to_ **_KazooKid_** _]_

 **InterGAYlactic:** what the actual??

 **SassyBinch:**  matt is a literal mosquito tho, gold star on that one lance

 **ambuLANCE:** thank you ^^

 **Mattsquito:** shut the fuck up you aardvark

 **SassyBinch:** i thought i was a rat

 **Mattsquito:** same difference

 **SassyBinch:** no not really

 **She’sAKillerQueen:** I don’t kill! At least, only for war purposes.

 **ambuLANCE:** chill it’s just a lyric from an earth song

 **She’sAKillerQueen:** Oh. Nevermind then.

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  ok but why is hunk’s name from a very old kids show?

 **ambuLANCE:** have i got a SToRy FOr yOU

 **SassyBinch:** ( ^ is that a veggie tales reference i see?)

 **ambuLANCE:** (why yes dear sweet pidgeon)

 **KazooKid:** time to meet a side of me that you’ve never known

 **ambuLANCE:**  hunk and I have been friends since before the garrison, right? this took place at my house. so one morning i woke up, and before long i heard a loud noise outside

 **ambuLANCE:** at first i ignored it, but then it got LOUDER. so i looked outside and there i see hunk facing my bedroom window

 **ambuLANCE:** playing a handful of kazoos at once

 **ambuLANCE:** into a megaphone

 **ambuLANCE:** i don’t remember what i yelled to him from the window, but hunk replied “kazoos for days” before speeding away on a tiny scooter

 **SassyBinch:** #friendshipgoals

 **Mattsquito:** ew stop

 _[_ ** _SassyBinch_ ** _changed their name to_ **_Aardvark_** _]_

 **Aardvark:** never, peasant

 **Mattsquito:** D:

 **InterGAYlactic:** why do I feel like that’s something shiro would do?

 **KazooKid:** idk man but it’s seems uncharacteristic of him

 **InterGAYlactic:** not unless you’ve known him since you were like, 12

 **She’sAKillerQueen:** I keep forgetting that you and Shiro have known each other for longer than everyone else has.

 **ambuLANCE:**  matt my dude t or d

 **Mattsquito:** dare

 **ambuLANCE:** yeet ok

 **ambuLANCE:** uhh do an imitation of everyone in the group chat, as well as zarkon, haggar, lotor, axca, and shay 

 **Mattsquito:**  shiro- "i'm takashi shirogane and i have big-ass muscles, and all my advice comes directly from naruto"

 **Mattsquito:**  allura- "my name is allura and i was born into the royal british family even though i'm from a different planet. but i'm not stuck up and i love everyone the same, except for my ex and his family. they can go die"

 **Mattsquito:**  keith- "i'm keith and i'm emo af. i have abandonment issues and i like sword fights. CRYPTIDS"

 **Mattsquito:**  lance- "hey there demons, it's me, ya boy. i like girls and i'm the super hot sharpshooter. but i also hate myself on the inside and i'll let that self-hatred fester silently and destroy my very mental/emotional being, but I'll never tell anybody"

 **InterGAYlactic:** aw lance ):

 **ambuLANCE:** chjddjkwyu no 

 **Mattsquito:**  hunk- "hello, i'm hunk. i'm a gift from God himself, or maybe i am God. i love to cook and i make people feel loved and happy"

  **Mattsquito:**  pidge- "it's me, pidge. i'm like, 11 and i won't hit puberty for the next 24 years. i'm robotsexual, lesbian for the loch ness monster, and i'll kick your ass to the next universe even though i'm just a toddler"

 **Mattsquito:**  coran- "wassup i'm the altean nigel thornberry and i'm the friendly supportive uncle of this space family"

 **Mattsquito:**  krolia- "i'm keith's badass galra mom and i love my baby boy"

 **Mattsquito:**  romelle- "i'm romelle, and i'm energetic with a lot of questions. i am innocent, pure, but i can be scary depending on the situation"

 **Mattsquito:**  zarkon- "it is i, your emperor, who commanded the furry race and enslaved more than a third of existence. i've ruled the furry empire for over 10000 decaphoebs and was defeated by 4 children and their dad in only 2 years."

 **Mattsquito:**  haggar- "i'm a witch, i can turn you into a frog. i became an evil zombie with alzheimer's after i had sex with interdimensional, corrupted quintessential being"

 **Mattsquito:**  lotor- "i'm a weasel and i'm sly as fuck. i'm a dramatic, whiny bitch with daddy issues. i only drink respect women juice, and all i've ever wanted was a ballerina barbie"

 **ambuLANCE:** pffFTTTT

 **KazooKid:** this is too true

 **Aardvark:** i'm lIVING

 **Mattsquito:**  axca- "i thought i was part of the mean girls club, but nah. i suddenly wanted to join the coalition for the dude with the flippity mullet hair and scar"

 **Mattsquito:**  shay- "hello! i'm shay and i'm really calm and gentle. i may or may not have feelings for hunk."

 **KazooKid:** dgjdsgjddhjfdsf

 **ambuLANCE:** [wink wink nudge nudge]

 **CoranicMechanic:** I don't know what many of your earth terms mean but it all seems terrifyingly accurate based on the content.

 **ambuLANCE:**  axca has a crush on keith?!???!

 **PurpleCrayon:** Well yes, haven't you noticed?

 **InterGAYlactic:** ew no thanks 

 **ButterflyElf:** Keith, aren't you dating Axca?

 **InterGAYlactic:** eW NO

 **InterGAYlactic:** GIRLS ARE THE SPAWN OF SATAN

 **QueenOfAllQueens:**  exCUSE ME

 **InterGAYlactic:**  except allura, romelle, my mom, pidge, and i guess axca

 **QueenOfAllQueens:**  Thank you.

 **Mattsquito:**  OLLORO TTT OR DDD

 **QueenOfAllQueens:**  I'm going to assume you meant me.

 **QueenOfAllQueens:** Dare! You don't scare me!

 **Mattsquito:** add axca to the group chat

_[ **QueenOfAllQueens** added  **Acxa** to Ungrateful Ants]_

**Acx** **a:** um....... hello?

 **PurpleCrayon:** Hello there, fellow Galra rebel.

 **QueenOfAllQueens:**  Greetings.

 **KazooKid:** eat your vegetables 

 **Aardvark:** tweet tweet motherfucker 

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  hi axca

 **CoranicMechanic:** Nice to talk with you again!

 **ButterflyElf:** Who 

 **InterGAYlactic:** salutations welcome to hell 

 **ambuLANCE:** skskksdkeksjsndjjrjryhsbbabm

 **Acx** **a:** who are you? what do you want?

 **Mattsquito:**  this is the official Voltron chat group 

 **Aardvark:** Voltron + matt, romelle, krolia, coran and shiro

 **Mattsquito:** slander 

 **Acxa:** oh, I see, hi!!

 **Acxa:** is keith here, then?

 **ButterflyElf:**  [Looks at the camera like I'm in The Office.]

 **ambuLANCE:** omg did she just

 **Aardvark:** who is responsible 

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  uh,,

 **Aardvark:** how do you plead

 **Mattsquito:** [mouths] not guilty!

 **HoneyNutShirios:** hot milky 

 **Mattsquito:** just lock him up

 **KazooKid:** whEezE

 **InterGAYlactic:** maybe we should say our names so that axca knows who is who

 **ambuLANCE:** so you're just gonna ignore that shiro showed romelle memes and vines?

 **InterGAYlactic:** i've gotten used to it

 **InterGAYlactic:** anyway i'm keith

 **QueenOfAllQueens:** Allura

 **KazooKid:**  hunk

 **ambuLANCE:**  lance 

 **CoranicMechanic:** Coran Coran the Gorgeous Man!!

 **ButterflyElf:** Romelle 

 **PurpleCrayon:** Krolia

 **Aardvark:**  pidge

 **Mattsquito:**  matt

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  shiro

 **Acxa:** I see

 

 

 

_ ambuLANCE > Acxa _

**ambuLANCE:** prepare for interrogation 

 **Acxa:** huh??

 **ambuLANCE:** there has been a rumor

 **ambuLANCE:** that you have

 **ambuLANCE:** a crush

 **ambuLANCE:** on keith

 **Acxa:** wh

 **ambuLANCE:** is it true because square up i will throw down 

 **Acxa:** woah woah woah, who thinks that??

 **ambuLANCE:** literally everyone

 **Acxa:** they must be as blind as Shovian Ochamix'

 **ambuLANCE:** what

 **Acxa:** giant, blind, winged creatures that live deep in the tunnel system of the planet Drek

 **ambuLANCE:** so.... you don't have feelings for keith?

 **Acxa:** are you kidding? i like girls

 **ambuLANCE:** rELIEF

 **Acxa:** this is because you love him, right

 **ambuLANCE:** jncdjkfhds what

 **Acxa:** I know jealousy when I see it

 **ambuLANCE:** valid point

 

 

_Ungrateful Ants_

**ambuLANCE:** aight welcome to our gang acxa

 **Mattsquito:** eat ass

 **ambuLANCE:** smoke grass

 **Mattsquito:** sled fast

 **ambuLANCE:** SLED GANG

 **Mattsquito:** SLED GANG

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  what am i seeing with my pupils

 **Aardvark:** a masterpiece at it's finest

 **She'sAKillerQueen:** Romelle Truth or Dare?

 **ButterflyElf:** Uhh truth?

 **She'sAKillerQueen:** Is it true that you are somewhat skilled in combative technique?

 **ButterflyElf:** I guess so, but I'm not as good at it as you.

 **ButterflyElf:**  You are a very talented fighter, Allura.

 **InterGAYlactic:** did Allura just squeal?

 

 

 

_ButterflyElf > KazooKid_

**ButterflyElf:** She's also very attractive and wonderful.

 **KazooKid:** !!!!! :0

 

 

 

  _Ungrateful Ants_

 **Acxa:** may I join the game?

 **CoranicMechanic:** Of course!

 **Aardvark:** sure

 **ambuLANCE:** ye 

 **ButterflyElf:**  Truth or Dare, Acxa?

 **Acxa:** hmm.... I'll go with Truth.

 **ButterflyElf:**  Do you like-like Keith?

 **Acxa:**  no, definitely not. I'm what the humans call a lesbian

 **InterGAYlactic:** ohh hELLL YEAH

 **ambuLANCE:** thank

 **InterGAYlactic:** what

 **ambuLANCE:** what

 **Acxa:**  I just looked through the chat history, and I guess we're back at coran now??

 **Aardvark:** yoi 

 **Acxa:** Truth or Dare?

 **CoranicMechanic:** Dare!!

 **Acxa:**  change my user i'm not as creative as you guys

 **KazooKid:** aww you can actually be pretty nice acxa

 **Acxa:**  ....were you... being.. sarcastic...?

 **She'sAKillerQueen:** No, Hunk is just a sweet boy.

 **ambuLANCE:** yes indeedy do

 **KazooKid:** cvgdasf thanks

_[ **CoranicMechanic** changed  **Acxa** 's name to  **AcxauallyILikeGirls** ]_

**InterGAYlactic:** LGBTQ+ UNITE 

 **AcxauallyILikeGirls:** [high fives you]

 **Aardvark:** [high five]

 **HoneyNutShirios:** [high five]

 **ambuLANCE:** [HIGH FIVE]

 **ButterflyElf:** "[high five]"

 **InterGAYlactic:** [high fives y'all back]

 **KazooKid:** southern keith? is that you?

 **InterGAYlactic:** shut your fucking mouth

 **HoneyNutShirios:** i just yawned goodnight heathens

 **InterGAYlactic:** goodbye old man

_[ **HoneyNutShirios** is offline]_

**PurpleCrayon:** I'm tired too

_[ **PurpleCrayon** is offline]_

_[ **CoranicMechanic** is offline]_

_[ **She'sAKillerQueen**  is offline]_

_[ **ButterflyElf**  is offline]_

**ambuLANCE:** now that they're gone

 

 

 

 _[ **ambuLANCE** added _ _**KazooKid** _ _,_ _**InterGAYlactic** _ _,_ _**Aardvark** _ _,_ _**Mattsquito** _ _and_ _**AcxauallyILikeGirls** _ _to_ _OPERATION GET ALLURA AND ROMELLE TOGETHER ]_

 **ambuLANCE:** we gotta do something about those two

 _[ **Aardvark** changed OPERATION GET ALLURA AND ROMELLE TOGETHER to _ _ OPERATION ROMELLURA™ _ _]_

 **ambuLANCE:** thanks pidge I was already starting to get resent that long-ass name

 **Aardvark:** no problem my guy (⌐■_■)

 **ambuLANCE:** (⌐■_■)

 **AcxauallyILikeGirls:** are you sure they actually like each other though?

_[ **KazooKid** sent (3) photos]_

**KazooKid:** yes

 **KazooKid:** but can we do this later i'm about to fall asleep

 **ambuLANCE:** sknzv dn ako2 283 83BP 83 s1881 uhzhJV Nie882 99 hri91owhbf ge

 **Aardvark:** i'm guessing lance fell asleep on his transponder 

 **InterGAYlactic:** big mood

 **Mattsquito:** speaking of transponders, hunk i was able to get shay one of her own

 **Mattsquito:** i'll add her to the main chat once we wake up

 **KazooKid:** yay! ok goodni

 **AcxauallyILikeGirls:** aaaand he's down

 **AcxauallyILikeGirls:** goodnight

_[ **AcxauallyILikeGirls** is offline]_

**Mattsquito:**  lil sis, knowing you: PIDGE GO TO SLEEP 

 **Aardvark:**  sleep? idk her

 **Mattsquito:** close your fucking eyes you gremlin

 **Aardvark:** asshole

 **Mattsquito:** shorty 

 **Aardvark:** titan

 **Mattsquito:** bitch 

 **Aardvark:** motherfucker

 **Mattsquito:** demon

 **Aardvark:** ok fine i'll sleep

 **Aardvark:** fuckign asswipe 

_[ **Aardvark** is offline]_

_[ **Mattsquito** is offline]_

 

 **InterGAYlactic:**  i was just about to write "is this what it's like to have siblings" but then i remembered that shiro is the same way lmao

 

 

»●°.※✩※.°●«

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof that was a long one. I wanted it to be out for Pidge's birthday, but oh well. smh my motivation is pretty sucky right now (it always has been but whatever)
> 
> also, fuck HTML


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lmao pining and anxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Username Key!  
> Shiro = HoneyNutShirios  
> Keith = InterGAYlactic  
> Lance = ambuLANCE  
> Pidge = Aardvark  
> Hunk = KazooKid  
> Allura = She’sAKillerQueen  
> Coran = CoranicMechanic  
> Romelle = ButterflyElf  
> Krolia = PurpleCrayon  
> Matt = Mattsquito  
> Acxa = AcxauallyILikeGirls  
> Shay = Shay
> 
> Ships!  
> Keith/Lance (Klance)  
> Hunk/Shay (Hunay)

_Ungrateful Ants_

**Mattsquito:** WHAT IS UP FELLOW FURRY HOES

 **KazooKid:** o-

 **SassyBinch:** i’ll smack u so hard that pink synthetic wig will go down the block

 **Mattsquito:** omg

 **ambuLANCE:**  pidge i will disown you

 **KazooKid:** i’m

 **SassyBinch:** okay

 _[_ ** _SassyBinch_ ** _sent an image]_

 **KazooKid:** i’m calling the cops

 **SassyBinch:** fbi

 **Mattsquito:** hello??? 911 ??

 **ambuLANCE:** yes hello

 **Mattsquito:**  0.0

 **ambuLANCE:** what the fuck do you want

 **ambuLANCE:** state your emergency or i’m hanging up

 **SassyBinch:** bitchass

 **ambuLANCE:** do you have an emergency or can i hang up

 **SassyBinch:** why is this a furry rp gtfo

 **ambuLANCE:** what no i wasn’t doing a furry rp you soggy noodle

 **KazooKid:** I'M-

 **Mattsquito:** toasted grilled burnt to a crisp

 _[_ ** _HoneyNutShirios_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _InterGAYlactic_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _QueenOfAllQueens_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _CoranicMechanic_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _PurpleCrayon_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _ButterflyElf_ ** _is online]_

 _[_ ** _AcxauallyILikeGirls_ ** _is online]_

 **HoneyNutShirios:** hEY GANG

 **SassyBinch:** ,,,

 **ambuLANCE:** que mierda

 **Mattsquito:** EVERYONE QUICK describe yourself using a text face

 **Mattsquito:** ᕦ( ͠°◞  °)ᕥ

 **SassyBinch:** (╹◡╹)凸

 **HoneyNutShirios:** ┬──┬ ︵(╯。□。）╯

 **KazooKid:** (✿ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

 **ambuLANCE:** (ಥ⌣ಥ)︻╦╤─

 **She’sAKillerQueen:** (-＿- ✿)ノ

 **Acxa:** ♪☆＼(^０^＼) ♪(／^-^)／☆♪ (I like music)

 **CoranicMechanic:** ヽ(^෴^)ﾉ

 **InterGAYlactic:** ┬┴┬┴┤凸( ͡° ͜ʖ├┬┴┬┴

 **PurpleCrayon:** ಠ_ಠ

 **ButterflyElf:** |˚–˚|

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  i

 **ambuLANCE:** omg keef

 **InterGAYlactic:** ,,,

 **InterGAYlactic:**  lancey lance

 

_[_ ** _ambuLANCE_ ** _added_ **_KazooKid_ ** _,_ **_SassyBinch_ ** _,_ **_HoneyNutShirios_ ** _,_ **_She’sAKillerQueen_ ** _to Keith♡♡♡] _

**HoneyNutShirios:**  oh no now i have to deal with two of you

 **ambuLANCE:** hhhhhhh i’m so in love

 **KazooKid:** just, talk to him!

 **ambuLANCE:** i can’t! he’s just so,, and i’m just,,,,, fuck

 **ambuLANCE:** ughh i’m doomed

 **SassyBinch:** try flirting with him

 **ambuLANCE:** believe me, i’ve tried

 **ambuLANCE:** everytime i get bold enough to do it, then i chicken out once i see him

 **ambuLANCE:** he’s just so adorable, brave, strategic, and even though he’s moody and seems hateful he’s actually really sweet and pure

 **ambuLANCE:** whenever he smiles, i feel like i could vault over jupiter

 **SassyBinch:** aw that’s actually really sweet

 **SassyBinch:**  keith: [exists] you: I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

 **ambuLANCE:** OK BUT THAT’S SO TRUE IT’S SCARY

 **KazooKid:** oh no i just realized how much your feelings must have been hurt during that space game show thingy

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  oh yeah, you guys don’t really talk about that. what happened?

 **SassyBinch:** so basically we appeared in some sort of family feud game show hosted by some guy named bob and he forced us to do it. keith did some sort of pictation thingy and

 **ambuLANCE:** i’m gonna interrupt and just say that bob put keith’s bangs up into a ponytail and a pacifier in his mouth and i fuckin died he was so cute

 **SassyBinch:** and suddenly zarkon, lotor, and some other dude were resurrected just for the game show, also haggar was there too. it was such a dysfunctional family

 **SassyBinch:**  zarkon chose lance to do some sort of memory game where he had to remember the names of 5 random aliens we met on our entire space journey since day 1, and lance only got the last one right, who was bi boh bii

 **SassyBinch:** then bi boh bii appeared and gave lance clues when he did a guessing game, which was in bi boh bii’s language and he was CRUSHING it, except the last one. then lance was thrown into a tank of bubbling acid

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  oh jeez

 **SassyBinch:** then i had to do a little mini golf thing in order to save lance, but i hit the ball just right for it to bounce everywhere so i could jump on bob and demand that he let us go. but apparently i won the mini game by doing that and lance was poofed back to those game show podiums

 **SassyBinch:** then finally, we had to choose one person on the team to leave the game show and the rest of us would stay there for all eternity, and everyone said something cheesy about who they chose. no one chose themselves, which is how we all got out. i, for obvious reasons, chose hunk, hunk chose allura, allura chose me, and guess who chose each other

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  lance and keith?

 **KazooKid:** yes, or in other words klance

 **ambuLANCE:** sksksks

 **SassyBinch:** but the thing is, keith bullshitted his way through it and didn’t even give a good explanation as to why he chose lance

 **KazooKid:**  lance said “i chose keith. he’s our leader, plus he’s half galra, so i think he’s, like, the future” and keith said “i just don’t want to be stuck here for eternity with lance”

 **ambuLANCE:** i’m still upset by it

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  wow look at that it’s lecture time

 **ambuLANCE:** NO NONO WAIT don’t do that

 **ambuLANCE:** then he’s gonna think i’m just selfish and trying to guilt trip him into saying something nice about me

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  i highly doubt that

 **ambuLANCE:** please shiro?

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  alright, but you two will have to talk about this at some point

 **ambuLANCE:** i know, i just

 **ambuLANCE:** i don’t want him to feel pressured or anything, and he likes to keep these kind of things private with no one else up in his/our business

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  yeah

 **She’sAKillerQueen:** Wait so, Lance is in love with Keith?

 **KazooKid:** that was established

 **ambuLANCE:** wHaT dO i Do

 **She’sAKillerQueen:** Just talk to him, Lance. Nothing too professional or personal, just… talk. Make him laugh, open up to him about something to subtly let him know that you trust him. But don’t force anything, the most important part is letting the conversation come into its own.

 **SassyBinch:** i never knew you were such a romantic, allura

 **She’sAKillerQueen:** Yes, well, it’s a talent.

 **She’sAKillerQueen:** Oh! Coran asked me to tell you four that we’re almost at our next stop. He already let the others know. Lance, you can talk to Keith there!

 **ambuLANCE:** alright, wish me luck

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  you’ll be fine

 **KazooKid:** you’ll do great, bro!

 **SassyBinch:** yeah sure

 _[_ ** _ambuLANCE_ ** _is offline]_

 **SassyBinch:** he won’t need luck

 **KazooKid:**  keith too?

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  yep

 

 

 

_InterGAYlactic > HoneyNutShirios _

**InterGAYlactic:** SHIRO

 **InterGAYlactic:** WHERE’S LANCE

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  calm down i was just talking to him

 **InterGAYlactic:** is he okay?

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  yep, he was just worrying about something, but it’s all good now

 **InterGAYlactic:** about what??

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  that's completely confidential, but he's fine so you don't need to worry

 **InterGAYlactic:**  ,,,,,,,,,,,, ok,,,

 

 

 

_Ungrateful Ants_

_[ **CoranicMechanic** is offline]_

_[ **PurpleCrayon** is offline]_

**Mattsquito:** oh i almost forgot

_[ **Mattsquito** added  **Shay** to Ungrateful Ants]_

_[ **ambuLANCE** is online]_

**KazooKid:** !! :O

 **Shay:** hello all! matt showed me the group chat, so i know about it and who is who already

 **KazooKid:**  shay!!! :D

 **Shay:** :D hunk!!

 **ambuLANCE:** :\ lance¡

 **Aardvark:** are you ok

 **ambuLANCE:**  hahahahahahhahahahahhaha no

 **AcxauallyILikeGirls:** why not

 **ambuLANCE:**  haaaaa anxiety

 **ambuLANCE:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Mattsquito:** oofie 

 **KazooKid:** what's got you down bud?

 **ambuLANCE:** oh :) you know :) just,, ranting to myself about not being good enough :)) for You Know Who :))))))

 **KazooKid:** i say vol, and you say tron!

 **KazooKid:** vol?

 **ambuLANCE:** demort 

 **KazooKid:** yeah you're definitely out of it 

 **InterGAYlactic:**  alright [whips out a giant roll of paper filled with names] who do i gotta put on my hit list

 **ambuLANCE:** put me down bls 

 **InterGAYlactic:** wait no i take it back

 **ambuLANCE:** blease 

 **HoneyNutShirios:** no death for you

 **ambuLANCE:** damnit 

 **She'sAKillerQueen:** Oh I see who you're talking about...

 **ambuLANCE:** hhhhn i just 

 **ambuLANCE:** :) i'm a mess :)))

 **Mattsquito:** I'M A LOSER

 **ambuLANCE:** I'M A HATER I'M A USER

 **Mattsquito:** I'M A MESS FOR YOUR LOVE IT AIN'T NEW

 **ambuLANCE:** I'M OBSESSED I'M EMBARRASSED 

 **Mattsquito:** I DON'T TRUST NO ONE AROUND US

 **ambuLANCE:** I'M A MESS FOR YOUR LOVE IT AIN'T NEW

 **HoneyNutShirios:** -_- i don't know why i didn't expect anything different from you two

 **Aardvark:** i have raised you well, matt

 **Aardvark:** mattyb raps

 **Aardvark:** mattress

 **Aardvark:**  yoga mat

 **Mattsquito:** bitch i'm older than you, i let you inherit my knowledge 

 **InterGAYlactic:** what the fuck is even going on

 **Aardvark:**  i wasn't done asshole 

 **Aardvark:** ,, crystal math

 **Mattsquito:** [bows excessively] yes thank you, thank you

 **Aardvark:** besides, i took your intellect as well as enhancing mine to surpass your own, i took all the credit for it, i'm not a meme AND i evolved into a whole-ass pidgeot while you're still an unevolved wooper 

 **Mattsquito:** >:O

 **KazooKid:** oy vey

 **ambuLANCE:** but seriously, i'm a mess for this person and in general and bsbhjajsbdbsja

  **ambuLANCE:** i'm gonna fuckign,,,,,

 **ambuLANCE:** ugh 

 

 

_Keith♡♡♡_

**ambuLANCE:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **ambuLANCE:** AAAAAifuckinglovethisboyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

 **ambuLANCE:** he's got perfectly clear skin, his eyes are such a beautifully deep purple that seem to withhold galaxies inside them, he can actually pull off a mullet really well and it looks so soft and i just wanna run my fingers through it, and that scar??? hO BOy it's so fucking hOT I JUST???????

 **ambuLANCE:**  MMMMMMMMMMM HOT DAMN I WANT HIM

 **Aardvark:** disgustening

 **KazooKid:** *disgusting 

 **Aardvark:** did i fucking stutter 

 **HoneyNutShirios:** this is honestly pretty cute

 **HoneyNutShirios:** lance i give you my blessing

 **ambuLANCE:** skjdhsjsjfjfd thanks shkshdhs 

 **KazooKid:** we're landing in a few seconds, go get your man!!

 **ambuLANCE:** akfbbsbsnanan 

_[ **ambuLANCE** is offline]_

_[ **HoneyNutShirios** is offline]_

_[ **KazooKid** is offline]_

_[ **Aardvark** is offline]_

_[ **She'sAKillerQueen** is offline]_

 

 

 »●°.※✩※.°●«

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pining klance, new group chat, quilts?, more klance, cryptids & mini conspiracies, friendly brogane drama (shiro was definitely a theatre kid), and did i mention klance??
> 
> WARNING (it's minor don't worry): a character talks bad about Trump for 0.2 seconds before moving on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Username Key!  
> Shiro = HoneyNutShirios  
> Keith = InterGAYlactic / InterGAYlactoseIntolerantMotherfucker / InterGAYlactoseIntolerant  
> Lance = ambuLANCE  
> Pidge = Aardvark  
> Hunk = KazooKid  
> Allura = She’sAKillerQueen  
> Coran = CoranicMechanic  
> Romelle = ButterflyElf  
> Krolia = PurpleCrayon  
> Matt = Mattsquito  
> Acxa = AcxauallyILikeGirls  
> Shay = Shay
> 
> Ships!  
> Keith/Lance (Klance)
> 
> sorry that i haven't been adding any romellura in as much as i probably should, but allura and romelle are a lot better at handling feelings so they're gonna be more subtle about it. that's why i haven't been writing them in that much, because they're going to end up getting together in person but they're going to keep it on the down low. 
> 
> so if at one point allura and romelle just reveal that they're girlfriends out of the blue, it's because they've been interacting more in person and less over text. i'll probably write a scene (that isn't in group chat/texting form) where they get together and then they tell the group chat.
> 
> okay permission to continue my guys

_Aardvark > InterGAYlactic_

**Aardvark:** you're smiling like an idiot what did he do this time

 **InterGAYlactic:** lance and i were talking to each other alone

 **Aardvark:**  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **InterGAYlactic:** no stop 

 **InterGAYlactic:** and he started opening up to me about some personal stuff?? like insecurities? and so i was reassuring him about himself and how amazing he is

 **InterGAYlactic:** and then he smiled and it was the most precious thing i've ever seen?!?! 

 **InterGAYlactic:** anD wE HuGgeD

 **Aardvark:** whipped

 **InterGAYlactic:** hnggjjgjjgjg sure

 **Aardvark:** :0 admittance

 **Aardvark:** so when are you gonna confess

 **InterGAYlactic:** currently i’m set on ‘never’

 **Aardvark:** yikers what the fuck

 **InterGAYlactic:** i’m almost certain that he’d reject me or something, cause it’s pretty obvious that he just thinks of me as a friend

 **Aardvark:** christ

 

 

 _[_ ** _Aardvark_ ** _added_ **_HoneyNutShirios_** _,_ **_KazooKid_** _,_ **_She’sAKillerQueen, PurpleCrayon_ ** _and_ **_AcxauallyILikeGirls_ ** _to_ _Klance Are Idiots_ _]_

 _[_ ** _Aardvark_ ** _sent (1) screenshot]_

 **Aardvark:** i’m a split second away from bashing someone’s head into a wall

 **She’sAKillerQueen:** “Klance”?

 **HoneyNutShirios:** keith and lance

 **She’sAKillerQueen:** Ah, yes I forgot.

 **PurpleCrayon:** Is this supposed to be a…

 **PurpleCrayon:** Uh

 **PurpleCrayon:** What’s the Earth term again?

 **PurpleCrayon:** A romantic pairing?

 **KazooKid:** yes!! exactly that!

 **KazooKid:** oh wait, are you okay with that? y’know... considering that keith is your son and all, and he and lance are guys

 **PurpleCrayon:** Of course I am! It’s very common in Galra culture for there to be same-sex relationships. During our mission on the space whale, all that Keith would ever talk about was Lance

 **PurpleCrayon:** It was always “Lance this!” or “Lance that!” “I miss Lance!” “I wonder if Lance will remember me” “What if I get back and Lance looks really different? What if he’s dead?!” “Does Lance miss me?” and “Once Lance and I had a bonding moment, and even though he claims he doesn’t remember I know deep down in my heart that he does!”

 **HoneyNutShirios:** i understand your pain

 **AcxauallyILikeGirls:** I never really took keith as a talkative person?

 **She’sAKillerQueen:** He’s not….

 _[_ ** _Aardvark_ ** _sent (5) screenshots]_

 **Aardvark:** he is when it’s about lance

 _[_ ** _KazooKid_ ** _sent (9) screenshots]_

 **KazooKid:**  and lance when he's talking about keith

 **AcxauallyILikeGirls:** when I first joined the group chat, lance privately interrogated me about those rumors that I had ‘liked’ keith

 _[_ ** _AcxauallyILikeGirls_ ** _sent (2) screenshots]_

 **PurpleCrayon:** They both seem to be really good for each other

 **HoneyNutShirios:** yeah, they really are. they’re both good kids and i can tell that they really love and care about each other

 **PurpleCrayon:** But if Lance even takes /one step/ in the wrong direction, I’ll snap his neck, cut him into a bunch of pieces, rearrange and stitch the pieces together, and hang him up like an Earth quilt

 **HoneyNutShirios:** well that was very graphic but i agree

 **Aardvark:** with that in mind i think lance would make a good quilt

 **KazooKid:** but what if keith does something to lance?

 **AcxauallyILikeGirls:** then we'll kick /his/ ass

 **PurpleCrayon:** Keith would make a very nice quilt too

 **KazooKid:**  shuvjbww ;hpaif1 K R O L I A HE'S YOUR SON

  **PurpleCrayon:**  we have friendly banter every now and then

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  matt would be a great quilt 

 **She'sAKillerQueen:** A quilt is an Earth blanket, right? I believe Lance would best match Altean draperies.

 **AcxauallyILikeGirls:** I've worked with matt for the past few decaphoebs, he's the best suited for a quilt

 **KazooKid:** i don't wanna murder any of my best friends (with some exceptions)

 **KazooKid:** buuuut i'm agreeing with the 'lance quilt' side

 **Aardvark:** we need more evidence

 

 

_Ungrateful_ _Ants_

**Aardvark:** who would make a better quilt: lance, keith or matt 

 **Aardvark:** vote now 

 **Mattsquito:** me, duh

 **She'sAKillerQueen:** Lance

 **KazooKid:** lance 

 **HoneyNutShirios:** matt 

 **ButterflyElf:** Hmm, I believe I'd have to say..... Lance

 **PurpleCrayon:** Lance

 **AcxauallyILikeGirls:** Matt

 **InterGAYlactic:** i don't want to ever hurt lance in the slightest, so matt's gonna die 

 **ambuLANCE:** holy dnbdvsgsvvd

 **Aardvark:** man i'd love to hang matt up on my wall above my bed back home, or i could use his quilt as a flag and tie him to a pole and stick him on top of green 

 **ambuLANCE:** how DARE all of you 

 **Aardvark:** what, are you offended?

 **ambuLANCE:** yes actually 

 **ambuLANCE:** it's extremely obvious that keith would be the softest quilt 

 **InterGAYlactic:** excuse me what the fuck

 **InterGAYlactic:**  did you just insinuate that you want to kill me

 **ambuLANCE:** no, you just have the softest hair, your height is adorable, AND last but not least!!!! all i've ever dreamed of is cuddling you

 

 

_ambuLANCE > KazooKid_

**ambuLANCE:** whathaveidonewhathaveidonewhathaveidooooooooonnneee

 

 

_InterGAYlactic > ambuLANCE_

**InterGAYlactic:** are you being serious? or is this another one of your jokes 

 **ambuLANCE:** do you really think i'd joke about something like this

 **InterGAYlactic:** well......

 **ambuLANCE:** >:(( boi

 **InterGAYlactic:** ok no i actually really don't think you would

 **ambuLANCE:** exactly

 **ambuLANCE:** i'm being absolutely serious when i say that i've admired you ever since i first laid eyes on you at the garrison

 **InterGAYlactic:** ok well what if i told you that i /did/ know who you were at the time but i pretended not to because you had a massive glow-up and i got flustered so i had to play it cool to keep up my bad boy reputation

 **InterGAYlactic:** wait no

 **InterGAYlactic:** hhh 

 **InterGAYlactic:** actually fuck it i don't mind

 **InterGAYlactic:** ...

 **InterGAYlactic:** lance?

 **InterGAYlactic:** oh no i scared you away didn't i 

 **ambuLANCE:** no! no nonononoonono just

 **ambuLANCE:** holy mother of god

 **ambuLANCE:** just trying to process the fact that YOU

 **InterGAYlactic:** oh no

 **ambuLANCE:** THE /KEITH KOGANE/

 **ambuLANCE:** GETS FLUSTERED

 **InterGAYlactic:** yes i admit it i get flustered all the time shhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **InterGAYlactic:** and if you breathe a word of this to anyone i will change my name and escape to mars 

 **ambuLANCE:** nO dON'T LEAVE ME HERE 

 **InterGAYlactic:** I WOULDN'T LEAVE YOU WHAT THE FUCK 

 **ambuLANCE:** BUT YOU JUST SAID

 **InterGAYlactic:** NOPE DON'T EVEN

 **InterGAYlactic:** WHO WOULD I TAKE TO DISNEY WORLD IF I LEFT YOU BEHIND

 **ambuLANCE:** :o 

 **InterGAYlactic:** yeah i've got a swear jar for shiro and a quarter gets added every time he swears

 **InterGAYlactic:** i'm aiming to get enough to go to disney world with at least one other person

 **InterGAYlactic:** other than shiro, you're the only person i'd want to go with

 **InterGAYlactic:** honestly i'd be a lot happier if we went instead of shiro and i 

 **ambuLANCE:** :O HOLY SHIRT KEITH IS SOFT TOO

 **InterGAYlactic:** holy shirt 

 **ambuLANCE:** LET ME LIVE 

 **InterGAYlactic:** NO

 **ambuLANCE:** anyway yeah i promise not to tell anyone 

 **InterGAYlactic:** thank you, my favorite person

 **ambuLANCE:** :D SOFT KEITH :D:D:D

 **InterGAYlactic:** :) 

 

 

_Ungrateful Ants_

**Aardvark:** HOLY SHIT KEITH I JUST REALIZED 

 **InterGAYlactic:**  THAT WHEN WE GET BACK TO EARTH WE'RE GONNA GET TO BINGE ALL THE EPISODES OF BUZZFEED UNSOLVED WE MISSED

 **Aardvark:** YEAH THAT

 **Aardvark:** AND

 **Aardvark:**  BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT HAS BEEN COVERING UP THE EXISTENCE OF ALIENS SINCE FOREVER, WHAT IF THEY KNEW ABOUT THE INTERGALACTIC WAR OF PEACE BETWEEN THE GALRAN EMPIRE AND EVERYONE ELSE

 **InterGAYlactic:** ........

 **InterGAYlactic:** OJH YM GDO

 **ambuLANCE:** what the fuck

 **InterGAYlactic:** THIS IS MORE EVIDENCE THAT THE GOVERNMENT IS MORE FUCKED UP THAN WE ORIGINALLY THOUGHT

 **Aardvark:** YEAH I KNOW

 **InterGAYlactic:** EITHER THE GOVERNMENT AND THE MILITARY WERE ADAMANT ABOUT KEEPING IT TO THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY'RE SELFISH

 **InterGAYlactic:** /OR/

 **InterGAYlactic:** THEY FOUND OUT, THE MEN IN BLACK CAME FOR THEM, AND THEN SUCKED THOSE MEMORIES FROM THEIR MINDS BECAUSE PRESIDENT ORANGE BABYHANDS CAN'T BE TRUSTED WITH ANY KIND OF SENSITIVE INFORMATION

 **ambuLANCE:** :0

 **HoneyNutShirios:** "president orange babyhands" i'M whEezIGn 

 **Aardvark:** KEITH OML

 **InterGAYlactic:** NEW THEORY: THE GARRISON WORKS HAND IN HAND WITH THE MEN IN BLACK, CHANGE MY MIND

 **ambuLANCE:** i mean, it /makes sense/

 **Aardvark:** wait, what if there's a nessie planet

 **Aardvark:** and a bigfoot planet

 **Aardvark:** a goatman planet

 **InterGAYlactic:** a chupacabra planet

 **ambuLANCE:** keith! a mothman planet!!

 **InterGAYlactic:** MÖTHMÄN

 **InterGAYlactic:** ÄLLÜRÄ ÏS THËRË Ä MӦTHMÄN PLÄNËT

 **She'sAKillerQueen:** Sorry, but what the quiznack is a mothman??

_[ **Aardvark** sent (1) link and (1) picture]_

**She'sAKillerQueen:** I see.

 **She'sAKillerQueen:** I believe there is a planet with these creatures.

 **CoranicMechanic:** There is indeed!

 **InterGAYlactic:** HÖLŸ SHÏT

 **ambuLANCE:** guys uhh i can see keith vibrating through the video feed what the fuck

 **InterGAYlactic:** WË HÄVË TӦ GӦ THËRË

 **InterGAYlactic:** ËVËRŸÖNË GËT YÖÜR LÄMPS Ï'M TÜRNÏNG THÏS LÏÖN ÄRÖÜND

 **HoneyNutShirios:** KEITH NO

 **HoneyNutShirios:** DON'T YOU EVEN /DARE/

 **InterGAYlactic:** YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD

 **HoneyNutShirios:** I RAISED YOU EVER SINCE YOU WERE LIKE, 10

 **InterGAYlactic:** /YOU'RE NOT MY DAD/

 **InterGAYlactic:** YOU ALWAYS WANNA HEAR SOMETHING

 **InterGAYlactic:** ugly ass, fuckin.... noodlehead

 **KazooKid:** oh my god

 **HoneyNutShirios:** HOW DARE YOU USE VINES AGAINST YOUR OWN FATHER

 **HoneyNutShirios:** I WAS CAPTURED AND TORTURED BY A CULT OF PURPLE FURRIES, STRAPPED TO A TABLE BY OLD FRIENDS WHEN I FINALLY GOT BACK TO EARTH, KIDNAPPED BY A BUNCH OF 5 YEAR OLDS, VAULTED /BACK/ INTO SPACE INSIDE OF A BLUE SENTIENT MECHA-CAT, ADOPTED BY A GIANT BLACK SENTIENT MECHA-CAT, BECAME THE PSEUDO-FATHER OF THE 5 YEAR OLD CHILDREN, FORMED A BIG ROBOT MAN, FOUGHT AND DESTROYED THE 10,000+ YEAR OLD TURTLE EMPEROR, DIED AND BECAME A SPARKLY PURPLE GHOST INSIDE THE BLACK MECHA-CAT, FORCED TO SIT THERE IN A PURPLE BEANBAG INSIDE BLACK'S CONCIENSE AND WATCH EVERYTHING THAT YOU WERE DOING INSTEAD OF AN ACTUAL VACATION (MOST OF THE TIME I SAT THERE WITH MY HEAD IN MY HANDS BECAUSE OF ALL THE TOMFOOLERY, BUT THAT'S NORMAL SO), WAS RESURRECTED AND MY CONSCIENCE WAS THROWN INTO THE ALMOST-DEAD BODY OF MY CLONE WHICH PRETTY MUCH RENDERS ME A TECHNICAL ZOMBIE, I'VE GOTTA DEAL WITH YOU FOOLS IN CLOSE QUARTERS FOR A YEAR-AND-A-HALF, AND NOW MY OWN SON HAS BETRAYED ME

 **HoneyNutShirios:** I CAN'T TAKE IT

 **HoneyNutShirios:** [dramatically poses midleap like a ballerina being gently blown in the breeze, and floats away on a gust of rainbows]

 **Aardvark:** wow shiro's even more dramatic than lance

 **InterGAYlactic:** I'M NOT YOUR SON I'M YOUR BROTHER

 **HoneyNutShirios:** BROTHER

 **InterGAYlactic:** long live the king

 **InterGAYlactic:** [throws you out of the black lion]

 **HoneyNutShirios:** AAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **ButterflyElf:** Bye Felicia

 **ambuLANCE:** sjdjhjaidwjjusi

 **ambuLANCE:** okay but that scene was super sad

 **KazooKid:** i'm not sure if i should be crying or laughing

 **Mattsquito:** both

 **KazooKid:** ajdhbsws okay

 **Aardvark:** the broganes are wild

 **HoneyNutShirios:** [feral screeching]

 **InterGAYlactic:** shiro what the absolute fuck

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 **ambuLANCE:** ladies and gentlemen, we got em 

 **ambuLANCE:** we finally broke takashi shirogane

 **ambuLANCE:** press f to pay respects

 **ambuLANCE:** f

 **Aardvark:** f

 **ButterflyElf:** F

 **She'sAKillerQueen:** "F"

 **Mattsquito:** f

 **KazooKid:** f

 **PurpleCrayon:** F

 **AcxauallyILikeGirls:** F

 **InterGAYlactic:** he doesn't deserve my respect

 **HoneyNutShirios:** understandable have a nice day

 **Aardvark:** would you like to share with us your last will and testament 

 **HoneyNutShirios:** a fucking vacation maybe

 **InterGAYlactic:** i'm 25 cents closer to disney world

 **HoneyNutShirios:** damnit

 **InterGAYlactic:** another 25

 **HoneyNutShirios:** quiznack

 **InterGAYlactic:** i'm counting altean swears too

 **HoneyNutShirios:** uggghhhhhh fine 

 **InterGAYlactic:** no please go on i wanna go to disney world with a certain someone

 **ambuLANCE:** :)

 **InterGAYlactic:** :)

 

 

_Klance Are Idiots_

**Aardvark:** wOW what a /wEIRD ENCOUNTER/

 **KazooKid:** hmMMMM

 

 

_ Ungrateful Ants _

**HoneyNutShirios:** ........

 _[ **HoneyNutShirios** changed **InterGAYlactic** 's name to **InterGAYlactoseIntolerantMotherfucker** ]_ 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerantMotherfucker:** bitch

 **HoneyNutShirios:** bitch x2

_[ **InterGAYlactoseIntolerantMotherfucker** changed their name to **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant** ]_

**InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** at least get my name right smh

 **HoneyNutShirios:** are you gonna start taking care of yourself now that you've admitted it

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** no and i'm gonna be the biggest prick about it

 **HoneyNutShirios:** thought so

 **ButterflyElf:** So you dont "fuck mothers"?

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** i'm fucking gay

 **ambuLANCE:** for me right ;)

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** wtf ew no

 

 

_Klance Are Idiots_

**Aardvark:** spot the liar

 

 

_Ungrateful Ants_

**ambuLANCE:** hey hey it's alright i was just joking

 **ambuLANCE:** i didn't mean anything by it

 

 

_Klance Are Idiots_

**Mattsquito:** spot the liar: blue edition

 **HoneyNutShirios:** [toasterbathtub]

 

 »●°.※✩※.°●«

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my brain: olivia what the fuck  
> me: what  
> my brain: why are you being so inconsistent with the plot points  
> me: lmao idfk  
> my brain: can you maybe TRY to create other plots /other than Klance/  
> me: but have you considered: i love them  
> my brain: have you considered: i don't care, just make the story more interesting outside the general klance areas  
> me: how about i make plots, somehow incorporate klance into them one way or another, and then focus on the klance parts of the plot  
> my brain: fhjehsbbf O L I V I A
> 
> lmao sorry about forgetting hunay and romellura briefly, and i hate that this story doesn't exactly seem to have a ~flow~  
> so anyway, yeah! sorry about the short chapter though. high school exams and writer's block have been getting in the way of working on any of my fics or updating them.
> 
> (wow i've written down several sections for chapters in the future when the team gets to earth. ideas for future chapters come so easily and they're great, but then trying to think of what to write for current chapters is fucking hard and then they seem pretty shitty?? i don't know i'll just suffer in this corner over here with a mini fridge)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boredom, sand????, buzzfeed unsolved, keith is sensitive stop exposing him
> 
> seriously guys stop he has feelings too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Username Key!  
> Shiro = HoneyNutShirios  
> Keith = InterGAYlactoseIntolerant  
> Lance = ambuLANCE  
> Pidge = Aardvark  
> Hunk = KazooKid  
> Allura = She’sAKillerQueen  
> Coran = CoranicMechanic  
> Romelle = ButterflyElf  
> Krolia = PurpleCrayon  
> Matt = Mattsquito  
> Acxa = AcxauallyILikeGirls  
> Shay = Shay
> 
> Ships!  
> Keith/Lance (Klance)
> 
>  
> 
> i totally forgot that shay exists, wow  
> i literally only care about keith, lance, shiro, pidge, hunk, and matt wtf
> 
> also i've given up on writing the acts of being on or offline, because it's a waste of everyone's time

_[ **ambuLANCE** added  **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant** ,  **KazooKid** ,  **Aardvark** ,  **Mattsquito** ,  **AcxauallyILikeGirls** , and  **CoranicMechanic** to etch-a-sketch me like one of your french girls]_

**ambuLANCE:** i'm boooooooooooooooreeeeeeeeeeed 

 **KazooKid:** you made another chat

 **KazooKid:** to tell us what we've all been feeling this whole time

 **ambuLANCE:** i actually made it so us teens can have an adult-free zone where we can say shit and not get indirectly thrown out an airlock

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** coran is literally the oldest person we've ever met

 **ambuLANCE:** ok but coran's different, he's the cool crazy uncle who is as insane as the rest of us (minus acxa, she's not quite there yet)

 **AcxauallyILikeGirls:** wow thanks

 **ambuLANCE:** you know it

 **Aardvark:** trust me, that was a compliment

 **AcxauallyILikeGirls:** ...... thanks?

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** also everyone here except pidge is technically an adult 

 **ambuLANCE:** ... fuck

 **ambuLANCE:** just.... shhhhh

 **Mattsquito:** so what is hip hop happening today my dudes

 **Aardvark:** please never say that ever again

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** i saw shiro fiddling around with his hair earlier 

 **KazooKid:** your point?

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** no you don't understand 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** he borrowed a bunch of allura's hair ties and tied up his floof all the way to the edge

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** and declared, quote: "i'm a pretty unicorn and my favorite color is magenta"

 **ambuLANCE:** xofvbbzbfhd 

 **KazooKid:** wild 

 **Aardvark:** why didn't we know about this side of shiro before 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** idk man

 

 

 

 

_ambuLANCE > KazooKid_

**ambuLANCE:** oh my god he said floof

 **ambuLANCE:** he's so adORABLE I AM GOING TO DIE

 **KazooKid:** i know bud 

 

 

 

 

 

 _ Ungrateful Ants _

**Mattsquito:**  does anyone know what sand tastes like

 **HoneyNutShirios:** sigh

 **Mattsquito:** it's a serious question!!! 

 **Aardvark:** matt you've been trying to figure this out for years 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** it tastes like sand??

 **Mattsquito:** no i'm looking for a description

 **She'sAKillerQueen:** Can't you just find whatever this "sand" is that you're talking about and taste it for yourself?

 **Mattsquito:** i've had it before, but i wanna know HOW TO DESCRIBE IT

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** crunchy

 **ambuLANCE:** crunchy munchy yellow scrunchie

 **Mattsquito:** THE TASTE YOU SWINES 

 **ambuLANCE:** >:O HOW DARE

 **Aardvark:** you wanna say that to my face

 **Mattsquito:** S W I N E

 **Aardvark:** BLOODY PEASANT-

 **Mattsquito:**  COME SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM! HELP! HELP! I'M BEING REPRESSED!

 **HoneyNutShirios:** monty python and the holy grail?

 **Aardvark:** best movie to ever exist

 **ambuLANCE:** keith!

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** what 

 **ambuLANCE:** when we get back to earth, can i watch buzzfeed unsolved with you 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** !!!

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** hell yeah!!!!!

 **Aardvark:** lance are you a shaniac or a boogara

 **ambuLANCE:** shaniac 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** :O i can't handle such heartbreak

 **Aardvark:** SHOT THROUGH THE HEART

 **Aardvark:** AND YOU'RE TO BLAME

 **ambuLANCE:** i'm guessing you guys are boogara's?

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** yeah

 **Aardvark:** for the most part

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** excuse me what do you mean "for the most part"

 **Aardvark:** meh, i'm kinda on the fence sometimes about ghosts

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** betrayal.jpeg

 **Aardvark:** I'M ON AND OFF ABOUT THEM

 **Aardvark:** anyway,

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** rude

 **Aardvark:** if keith and lance hosted bu, it's pretty obvious that keith is ryan and lance is shane

 **ambuLANCE:** ...... keith doesn't get scared

 **Aardvark:** are you kidding

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** shut up

 **Aardvark:** sometimes we'd sneak off the castleship to go cryptid/ghost hunting and he'd go bonkers

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupSHUTUP 

 **HoneyNutShirios:** once i was trying to make an omelette and the pan part snapped off the handle, and keith shot like 3 feet in the air

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** i'm gonna murk you both in your sleep, count on it

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** is anyone else gonna expose me and take a stab at my reputation?

 **ambuLANCE:** one time,,

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** SHUT THE FUCK UP DON'T YOU DARE 

 **ambuLANCE:** kidding

 

 

 

 

_InterGAYlactoseIntolerant > Aardvark_

**InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** it'd be pretty scary but sUPER HOT if lance taunted ghosts and demons the way shane does

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** because HOLY SHIT THIS BOY

 **Aardvark:** oh mY GOD

 

»●°.※✩※.°●«

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no please i actually need help how do i describe the taste of sand


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yes hi hello today's subject will be on klance
> 
> in class, we will be learning How To Not Be A Dumbass and How To Effectively Not Confess Your Crippling Affections™ For Someone
> 
> also y'all better get some duct tape, cause i'm about to **break the fourth wall**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Username Key!  
> Shiro = HoneyNutShirios  
> Keith = InterGAYlactoseIntolerant  
> Lance = ambuLANCE  
> Pidge = Aardvark  
> Hunk = KazooKid  
> Allura = She’sAKillerQueen  
> Coran = CoranicMechanic  
> Romelle = ButterflyElf  
> Krolia = PurpleCrayon  
> Matt = Mattsquito  
> Acxa = AcxauallyILikeGirls  
> Shay = Shay
> 
> Ships!  
> Keith/Lance (Klance)  
> Hunk/Shay (Hunay)
> 
> holy shit!! 714 hits and 48 kudos?!? that's even better than my other fics (granted, they've all been put on hiatus because of what i'm going to call my 'selective writer's block')! thank you guys for putting up with my shitty schedule of updating twice in one week and then not updating for another month, and thanks sosososoooooo much for actually reading this garbage and hopefully getting a laugh. i love you all!! ♡♡♡

_ambuLANCE > KazooKid_

**ambuLANCE:** HELP

 **KazooKid:** ??

 **ambuLANCE:** HE'S SO PRETTY I'M

 **ambuLANCE:** hhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

 **KazooKid:** ASK HIM OUT ALREADY

 **ambuLANCE:** NO HE DOESN'T LIKE ME BACK

 **KazooKid:** ARE YOU SURE

 **ambuLANCE:** ......... NOt really

 **KazooKid:** do you have any evidence that points to the possibility of keith liking you back?

 **ambuLANCE:** ........................ yeahhhh???

 **KazooKid:** then i wouldn't have anything to worry about if i were you

 **ambuLANCE:** ok

 **ambuLANCE:** wait a minute

 **ambuLANCE:** what do you mean i have nothing to worry about

 **KazooKid:** just uh, if you tell him then i doubt it'll get in the way of your friendship if he doesn't feel the same

 **ambuLANCE:** yeah

 **ambuLANCE:** soooooooo how's shaaaaaaaay?

 **KazooKid:** oh! she's great actually!! we've been talking for a while, and she confessed to me recently. so she's my girlfriend now!

 **ambuLANCE:** YES HUNK!! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU MAN!!!

 **KazooKid:** AAAAA THANKS

 **KazooKid:** but now i wanna talk about you and keith 

 **ambuLANCE:** oh no,,

 **KazooKid:** what makes you think he doesn't like you?

 **ambuLANCE:** i don't know, i think a lot of it's just my depression telling me i'm not good enough for him

 **ambuLANCE:** my anxiety keeps dragging me into a dark alleyway to hold my hopes hostage, and even if i refuse to give up it takes hold of them anyway?????

 **ambuLANCE:** besides, he already told us during truth or dare that he's in love with someone else

 **ambuLANCE:** and there is absolutely /no way/ that it could be me: the stupid, annoying, goofball/2948753129387th wheel

 **ambuLANCE:** but like, i know i've gotta tell him sometime?? even though i know my heart'll end up broken

 **KazooKid:** yo

 **KazooKid:** okay first of all,, you are not! a! (insert number here)! wheel!

 **KazooKid:** you're our amazing, spirit lifting, selfless sharpshooter!! you've unlocked 3 /three!/ bayard forms! i don't think anyone else has unlocked even 1 or 2

 **KazooKid:** if keith doesn't fall for you, then that's his loss

 **KazooKid:** but something tells me that that won't happen

 **ambuLANCE:** i don't know man,,,

 **KazooKid:**  at least think about it!! can't keep our readers waiting!

 **ambuLANCE:** wtf hunk this isn't some sappy yet edgy fanfic

 **KazooKid:** i know, but i've always wanted to say that like it is a fanfic, even though it's not

 **KazooKid:** (.... or is it)

 **ambuLANCE:** ,, anyway

 **KazooKid:** rUDE

 **ambuLANCE:** yeah i'll think about it

 **KazooKid:** good, we can't keep watching you tiptoe around him for much longer without bursting

 **ambuLANCE:** oKAY BYE

 

 

 

 

_Klance Are Idiots_

_[ **KazooKid** sent (4) screenshots]_

**Aardvark:** oh thank god

 **She'sAKillerQueen:** I just hope this confession happens soon.

 **KazooKid:** ditto

 **HoneyNutShirios:** don't we all

 

 

 

 

_Ungrateful Ants_

**CoranicMechanic:** Will someone please tell Krolia to stop abusing me?

 **PurpleCrayon:** I'll stop when you stop trying to loop me into your shit!

 **CoranicMechanic:** I'LL stop when YOU stop hurling those edible circles at me!

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** mom why are you throwing food goo crackers at coran

 **PurpleCrayon:** He's telling me about ancient Altean gangs and trying to get me to help him perform a cult ritual!

 **HoneyNutShirios:** please don't do that

 **CoranicMechanic:** Oh alright, perhaps Allura and Romelle will join me.

 **HoneyNutShirios:** i meant don't do it AT ALL

 **CoranicMechanic:** ... Fine.

 **Aardvark:** daaaad, krolia said the shit word

 **ambuLANCE:** pff "the shit word"

 **HoneyNutShirios:** i'm not your dad

 **KazooKid:**  that dramatic monologue you did the other day suggests otherwise

 **HoneyNutShirios:** ,,, yeah ok

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** she probably picked up on some swears from me during our time on the space whale

 **PurpleCrayon:** And your father

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** him too

 **Shay:** what's going on??

 **KazooKid:** S H A Y !

 **Shay:** HUNKY!!

 **ambuLANCE:** aww that's adorable 

 **Shay:** i know, he is

 **KazooKid:** <3

 **Shay:** <3

 **Aardvark:** from the bottom of my cold little heart: ew romance 

 **KazooKid:** thank you

 **Aardvark:** yw 

 **Shay:** sorry i haven't been interacting! my grandmother has been ill lately and so i've been helping take care of her

 **KazooKid:** oh no! i love your grandma!! is she okay? is the sickness bad??

 **Shay:** she's doing alright for now, and it's similar to the human flu 

 **Mattsquito:** oof 

 **HoneyNutShirios:** yikes, i hate the flu because it makes me feel older than i already am

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** you're not old

 **HoneyNutShirios:** semantics

 **Shay:** but my grandma is getting better everyday! mainly thanks to the fact that she taught me how to make her famous soup

 **KazooKid:** okay no offense, but your grandma's soup isn't that great

 **Shay:** compared to your cooking? i agree

 **KazooKid:** aww thanks shay 

 **Shay:** :) <3

 **Aardvark:** again: ew romance

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** long ago, i would have agreed

 **Aardvark:** shut up keith i'll never look at you the same way again

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** all i ever did was fall in love you douchebag

 **Aardvark:** exactly

 

 

 

 

_Keith ♡♡♡_

**ambuLANCE:** :(

 **KazooKid:** [sympathetically pats your back] there there

 **KazooKid:** dude just fUCKIN CONFESS

 **ambuLANCE:** :'(((

 

 

 

 

_Ungrateful Ants_

**InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** oh i'm sorry that i can't be asexual and aromantic like you 

 **Aardvark:**  ,,,,,,,, you're forgiven :p

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** :0

 **Aardvark:** i'm gonna be honest here and say: i'm lesbian for the loch ness monster

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** so you're a gayce 

 **Aardvark:** yes

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** cool

 

 

 

 

_ButterflyElf > She'sAKillerQueen_

**ButterflyElf:** Hey, Allura?

 **She'sAKillerQueen:** Yes Romelle?

 **ButterflyElf:** Once you have the time, I would like to tell you something in private.

 **She'sAKillerQueen:** Oh, of course! There is... something that you need to know as well.

 **ButterflyElf:** Alright. How about I meet you at the big cone-shaped blue tree near the river in a few vargas?

 **She'sAKillerQueen:** Sounds like a plan <3

 **ButterflyElf:** <3

 

»●°.※✩※.°●«

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> coran coran the chat cryptid man
> 
> shay makes a return! as you can see i've decided to run with my forgetfulness of her and pin it on shay helping around the balmera, therefore not having the time to join in on group chat convos [dramatic high-pitched yay]
> 
> THE ROMELLURA CONFESSION IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER SO FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS KIDDOS


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T ASK FOR IT  
> BUT YOU'RE GETTING IT ANYWAY
> 
> IT'S ROMELLURA TIME
> 
> AND HUNAY
> 
>  
> 
> KLANCE FOR ∞ (infinity symbol, just because)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Username Key!  
> Shiro = HoneyNutShirios  
> Keith = InterGAYlactoseIntolerant  
> Lance = ambuLANCE  
> Pidge = Aardvark  
> Hunk = KazooKid  
> Allura = She’sAKillerQueen  
> Coran = CoranicMechanic  
> Romelle = ButterflyElf  
> Krolia = PurpleCrayon  
> Matt = Mattsquito  
> Acxa = AcxauallyILikeGirls  
> Shay = Shay
> 
> Ships!  
> Keith/Lance (Klance)  
> Romelle/Allura (Romellura)  
> Hunk/Shay (Hunay)  
> Shiro/Adam (Shadam)
> 
>  
> 
> get ready for a boring (ish) chapter because i had nO FUCKING INSPIRATION HHHHHHHHHH

_ Ungrateful Ants _

**She'sAKillerQueen:** Everyone, Romelle and I have an announcement to make.

 **Aardvark:** :O

 **ambuLANCE:** ooo~

 **HoneyNutShirios:** is it what i think it's gonna be

 **ButterflyElf:** We are now an official couple.

 **KazooKid:** OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS

 **Aardvark:** HOLY SHIT

 **ambuLANCE:** WOAH

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** !!!!!!!!!

 **HoneyNutShirios:** two down, one more to go

 **ambuLANCE:** ???

 **HoneyNutShirios:** don't worry about it

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** now he /will/ worry about whatever it ish0q46 @wi0 SO Ugbi*o/~^p o e e8Hgu4&O! i1

 **Aardvark:** uhhhh 

 **KazooKid:** what happened

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** i tripped 

 **ambuLANCE:** OH NO ARE YOU OKAY

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** yeah

 **ambuLANCE:** DO YOU NEED

 **ambuLANCE:** AN /AMBULANCE/

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** no i

 **ambuLANCE:** TOO LATE HERE I COMEEEEE

 **ambuLANCE:** WEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOO

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** jfc

 

 

 

 

 

 _ HoneyNutShirios > InterGAYlactoseIntolerant _

**HoneyNutShirios:** you know,

 **HoneyNutShirios:** being surrounded by couples and two boys dancing around each other

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** read: my lance situation is giving you grey hairs

 **HoneyNutShirios:** yes and no

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** you thinking about adam again?

 **HoneyNutShirios:** ... yeah

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** i know he still cares about you, and i'm 85% sure he still loves you

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** and i know you and adam really well, since you adopted me as a certified younger brother and we lived with adam

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** but even after you guys broke up and he pretended not to care, he was devastated when we got the news about the kerberos mission

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** he cried every night, and he told me that he regretted breaking up (then again he was still pretty fucking pissed when he heard about the mission failure)

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** he wanted to spend as much time as he could with you, since you had that muscle disease and didn't know exactly how much time you had left

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** he said that once he realized he couldn't change your mind, he decided to break up with you because he didn't want to be as attached in case of an incident with the mission

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** y'know, to lessen the emotional burden

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** but he said that he still loved you as much as ever, and all he wanted was for you to miraculously return home, because he believes you're still alive (but idk if he still believes it)

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** i'm positive that he still loves you and wants more than anything for you to get back safely

 **HoneyNutShirios:** keith i'm crying

 **HoneyNutShirios:** i'll

 **HoneyNutShirios:** i'm gonna think about this for a while

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** you do that

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** and no matter what, i'll always be your little brother

 **HoneyNutShirios:** thanks akira

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** anytime, takashi

 **HoneyNutShirios:** hang on i'm heading over to your location 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** you need a hug?

 **HoneyNutShirios:** yeah

 

»●°.※✩※.°●«

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know how much longer i can go on without klance being a couple
> 
> When do you want me to write the chapter where keith and lance to confess and get together? Please vote on the comments:  
> 1) wait for a few more chapters  
> 2) wait for about 10 more chapters  
> 3) wait until they get to earth  
> 4) literally just do it next chapter
> 
> GUYS PLEASE VOTE I'M SUFFERING OVER HERE, I'VE GOT A BUNCH OF IDEAS WRITTEN OUT THAT CONTAIN KLANCE BEING A COUPLE AND THEY'RE PILING UP QUICKLY
> 
> I NEED MY KLANCE COUPLE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith is tiiiiiiired
> 
> so guess who i'm projecting onto today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Username Key!  
> Shiro = HoneyNutShirios  
> Keith = InterGAYlactoseIntolerant  
> Lance = ambuLANCE  
> Pidge = Aardvark / UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus  
> Hunk = KazooKid  
> Allura = She’sAKillerQueen  
> Coran = CoranicMechanic  
> Romelle = ButterflyElf  
> Krolia = PurpleCrayon  
> Matt = Mattsquito  
> Acxa = AcxauallyILikeGirls  
> Shay = Shay
> 
> Ships!  
> Keith/Lance (Klance)
> 
>  
> 
> I CAN'T WAIT MUCH LONGER  
> SO THERE'LL BE A COUPLE MORE CHAPTERS AND THEN WE GET THE GOOD SHIT

_ InterGAYlactoseIntolerant > ambuLANCE _

**InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** wontons

 **ambuLANCE:** what

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** w W oNTONs

 **ambuLANCE:** keith what the fuck are you ok

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** eeeee  wHinTons 

 **ambuLANCE:** ,,,,,,,,,,,,

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** r uy an ewok 

 **ambuLANCE:** hi this is the ambulance please don't do drugs,,

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** boop 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** hehehhehe yur a hippo nwo 

 

 

 

 

 _ ambuLANCE > HoneyNutShirios _

_[ **ambuLANCE** sent (1) screenshot]_

**ambuLANCE:** is he okay

 **HoneyNutShirios:** this is the product of being sleep deprived as well as downing a jug of nunvil because he thought it was fruit punch

 **ambuLANCE:** why,,,

 **ambuLANCE:** why do i find him endearing,,,,,,

 **HoneyNutShirios:** don't ask me, ask your brain

 **HoneyNutShirios:** it's in his blood, he's an idiot

 **ambuLANCE:** no, he's a nerd

 **ambuLANCE:** and an idiot sometimes yeah, but it's still cute

 **HoneyNutShirios:** whipped 

 **ambuLANCE:** stfu

 **HoneyNutShirios:** when are you gonna confess to him

 **ambuLANCE:** aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **ambuLANCE:** EVERYONE KEEPS ASKING ME AND IT'S GETTING ANNOYING AND I JUST SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **HoneyNutShirios:** NOOOO

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  IF YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING TO US THEN YOU'D BE FEELING EVEN WORSE 

 **ambuLANCE:** BUT THEN BY THE TIME I'D CONFESS AND HE'D REJECT ME, I'D HAVE ALREADY BEEN UPSET

 **HoneyNutShirios:** GOD DAMMIT

 

 

 

 

_ Ungrateful Ants _

**Mattsquito:** why are we all dead

 **ambuLANCE:** are you being possessed because you're obviously not a ghost

 **Aardvark:** YOU KNOW WHAT LANCE

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** hrhfgdhdf shtu up shane

 **HoneyNutShirios:** KEITH GO TO SLEEP

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** nooooooooooooooo i don wannaaaaaa 

 **Aardvark:** wha 

 **ambuLANCE:** WEEHHH 

 **Mattsquito:** waluigi 

 **ambuLANCE:** my spirit animal

 **KazooKid:** liar that's coran's spirit animal

 **ambuLANCE:** yeah u rite

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** awa 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** ewe 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** owo

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** uwu

 **Aardvark:** wh WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH KEITH

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** bls,, u must be mistaken,,,,

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** i am he and he is me and i'll be keithman 

 **Mattsquito:** what in the fucm 

 **HoneyNutShirios:** he's a sleep deprived little shit who also drank nunvil because he thought it was fruit punch 

 **Aardvark:** BIG OOF

 **KazooKid:** yike yike yike

 **Mattsquito:** make him go to bed what the fuck 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** iiiiiiiiiiiiii have a knife

 **HoneyNutShirios:** i don't wanna die /yet/

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** i will shank,,

 **HoneyNutShirios:** keith no 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** keith yes

 **ambuLANCE:** keith no

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** aww

 **HoneyNutShirios:** slander

 

 

 

 

_HoneyNutShirios > ambuLANCE_

**HoneyNutShirios:** SEE HE OBVIOUSLY RESPECTS YOU MORE THAN ME

 **ambuLANCE:** RESGHFGJSRDERTF 

 

 

 

 

_Ungrateful Ants_

**InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** why nooottttt 

 **ambuLANCE:** because he's your brother and you love him

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** noooo i love youuuuuuuuuuuu lanceeeey 

 **Aardvark:** oop 

 **ambuLANCE:** AIJCHZNXBAHHCYTCVTTAIAIXC NO YOU DON'T YOU'RE FUCKIN SLEEP DEPRIVED

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:**  but i wana slepe with you 

 **ambuLANCE:**  MSNFIDJHFBFBAKSLAPAOSOKDKFNSBBAVSJUFUFYYWVXDHBRNAFBBEHASFOVHTBTTAUWORHFBSNKFJGUISIWIUFUF

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** i bet ur cuddly

 **ambuLANCE:** UM,,,

 **ambuLANCE:** I,,,,,,, HAVE TO UH, GO SOMEWHERE 

 **ambuLANCE:** GOTTA TAKE A NAP

 **ambuLANCE:** YEAH THAT'S IT

 **HoneyNutShirios:** can keith take one with you 

 **ambuLANCE:** SURE

 **ambuLANCE:** ,, WAIT FUCK

 **HoneyNutShirios:** :) too late :)

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** yaaayyyy lance cuddless 

 **ambuLANCE:** HHHHHHH FINE

 

 

 

 

_ambuLANCE > HoneyNutShirios_

**ambuLANCE:** YOU'RE KILLIN ME SMALLS 

 **HoneyNutShirios:** oh well

 

 

 

 

_Keith♡♡♡_

**ambuLANCE:** SHIRO YOU MOTHERFUCKER I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO SHOOT YOU OR GIVE YOU MY LIVER

 **Aardvark:** what the fuck

 **HoneyNutShirios:** i'll take a second death thanks

 **ambuLANCE:** too bad here you go

 **HoneyNutShirios:** thanks i hate it

 **KazooKid:** ,,, is keith actually taking a nap with lance

 **ambuLANCE:** WHY IS HE SO BEAUTIFUL WHILE HE SLEEPS, WHAT THE FUCK, WHO BLESSED HIM WITH THIS ETERNAL BEAUTY, WHO'S TRYNA SMITE ME

 **Aardvark:** me bitch, i'm trying to smite you

 **ambuLANCE:** pidge,

 **Aardvark:** [bats eyelashes] yes?

 **ambuLANCE:** meet me in the fuckign pit

 **Aardvark:** jokes on you i live in the pit

 **HoneyNutShirios:** no you live under a bridge

**Aardvark:**

**ambuLANCE:**

**KazooKid:** she's a bridge troll

 **Aardvark:** :O i appreciate this new development 

 **ambuLANCE:** wait what about your gremlin status

 **Aardvark:** bridge troll sounds better

 **KazooKid:** you could say you're a

 **KazooKid:** pidge troll

 **Aardvark:** jesus christ

 **ambuLANCE:** YER A BRIDGE TROLL, PIDGEY

 

 

 

 

_Ungrateful Ants_

_[_ _**HoneyNutShirios** changed  **Aardvark** 's name to  **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus** ]_

**UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** yeet

 

 »●°.※✩※.°●«

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love klance 
> 
> it's my daily source of nutrition
> 
> i inhale it every hour, and when i'm not inhaling i'm either thinking about them or baking klance 
> 
>  
> 
>  **me when i see klance:**  
>  I'M GONNA MUNCH  
> I'M GONNA CRUNCH
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> who am i


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a visit to the space mall! coran is in on the klance project™, the group chat screams about memes for a bit, , amputation discourse???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Username Key!  
> Shiro = HoneyNutShirios  
> Keith = InterGAYlactoseIntolerant  
> Lance = ambuLANCE  
> Pidge = UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus  
> Hunk = KazooKid  
> Allura = She’sAKillerQueen  
> Coran = CoranicMechanic  
> Romelle = ButterflyElf  
> Krolia = PurpleCrayon  
> Matt = Mattsquito  
> Acxa = AcxauallyILikeGirls  
> Shay = Shay
> 
> Ships!  
> Keith/Lance (Klance)

_ Ungrateful Ants _

**CoranicMechanic:** Alright everyone, we will have to make a pit stop at one of the nearby space malls. We will separate into pairs, and each pair will be responsible for purchasing certain items and knicknacks that we will need for our wonderful space-faring 'road trip' to Earth!

 **CoranicMechanic:** Here are the pairs! Hunk and Allura, Lance and Keith, Krolia and Romelle, and Shiro and I.

 **CoranicMechanic:** I sent each pairs' list to the corresponding communicators. Good luck, everyone!! Have fun!

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** gotcha

 **HoneyNutShirios:** understood

 **She'sAKillerQueen:**  Looking forward to it!

**ambuLANCE:**

**KazooKid:**  oh boy

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** cool

 **ButterflyElf:** More bonding time with my adopted mom! "Yeet!"

 **PurpleCrayon:** ":)"

 

 

 

 

 _ ambuLANCE > CoranicMechanic _

**ambuLANCE:** i know what you're up to coran

 **CoranicMechanic:** And what would that be, my boy?

 **ambuLANCE:** you know what you did, you gorgeous man you

 **CoranicMechanic:** Why yes, I am gorgeous. Thank you, son.

 **ambuLANCE:** stop avoiding the subject, you paired me up with keith! i know you did that on purpose

 **CoranicMechanic:** Don't forget that I was one of the first to hear of your romantic infatuation for Number 4. I have the official right to tease you as much as possible.

 **ambuLANCE:** i guess... but it's not an infatuation!! 

 **CoranicMechanic:** It's not?

 **ambuLANCE:** infatuations are more short-lived, but my love for keith is more of the slow kind that i'll never be able to get over

 **CoranicMechanic:** I see.

 

 

 

 

_CoranicMechanic > UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus_

**CoranicMechanic:** Hello Number 5!

_[ **CoranicMechanic** sent (1) screenshot]_

**CoranicMechanic:** I strongly believe you are whipping up some kind of intelligent, devious plot, and whatever it is, I want in.

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** owo

 

 

 

 

_Klance Are Idiots_

_[ **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus** sent (1) screenshot]_

**Mattsquito:** i'm surprised that he knew this whole time

 **KazooKid:** coran knows literally everything 

 **She'sAKillerQueen:** Add him.

_[ **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus** added  **CoranicMechanic** to Klance are Idiots]_

**CoranicMechanic:** Ah yes, finally. 

 

 

 

 

_ Ungrateful Ants _

**InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** everyone, we're going to land the lions on the closest slow-moving asteroid, and then we'll jetpack the rest of the way to the main entrance. coran, romelle, there should be some helmets, suits, and jetpacks in each of the lions that you can use.

 **ButterflyElf:** Okay.

 

 

 

 

 

_InterGAYlactoseIntolerant > HoneyNutShirios_

**InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** SHIRO 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** SHIRO HE'S BEING CUTE WHAT DO I DO

 **HoneyNutShirios:** how is he being cute

 **HoneyNutShirios:** actually forget i asked

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** okay so,,

 **HoneyNutShirios:** oh god here we go

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** >:( rude

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** so we're walking around, right? then lance saw a store that had the alien equivalent of a guitar, so he demanded that we go there. then he started playing it and he started singing???? to me???????? and i???????? may have been crying a little ndnjshcfhsnnfnfnnd

 **HoneyNutShirios:** that's adorable uwu

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  

 **HoneyNutShirios:** shit no

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** screenshotted, filing that away for blackmail,,,,,

 **HoneyNutShirios:** delete that

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** never

 **HoneyNutShirios:** i should have left you on that street corner where you were standing

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:**  ,, but ya dIDN'T

 **HoneyNutShirios:** i hate you 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:**  yeah yeah love you too

 

 

 

 

 

_Ungrateful Ants_

**UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** lance was that you

 **ambuLANCE:** :)

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** how do you even scream that loud

 **HoneyNutShirios:** i'm on the other side of the mall and even i heard that

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** i'm standing /right next to him/ and my eardrums have been pulverized

 **ambuLANCE:** :)))

 **KazooKid:** okay but why "come get y'all juice"

 **Mattsquito:** ahh yes

 **Mattsquito:** the meme harvests have been hard for the past few years

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** wtf

 **Mattsquito:** most of this group chat knows memes, and here we are, stranded, in the vast expanse of space surrounded by aliens who have no fucking idea what memes are

 **Mattsquito:** us meme-lovers need some gOOD FUCKING FOOD

 **Mattsquito:** WE'RE DYING FROM UNDEREXPOSURE HERE

 **HoneyNutShirios:** you can always make your own memes

 **Mattsquito:** they're not memes if they aren't known by and approved of by the general public human society, AND I ONLY SEE 6 HUMANS OUT IN SPACE

 **HoneyNutShirios:** ...... but you can still make your own and they can be like private jokes between the six of us 

 **Mattsquito:** ,,,,, that's true

 

 

 

 

_ Ungrateful Ants _

**ambuLANCE:**  just a random thought,,

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  oh no what is it this time

 **ambuLANCE:**  if for any reason your leg had to be amputated, would you eat it out of curiosity 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:**  what the fuck

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:**  smh you're just as bad as matt 

 **ambuLANCE:**  thanks

 **Mattsquito:**  i raised him well

 **ambuLANCE:**  yes daddy 

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:**  GROUP CHAT CANCELLED

 **KazooKid:**  why are we friends

 **ambuLANCE:**  baby lance and baby hunk were cowards so they decided to band together against the bullies

 **ambuLANCE:**  aNYWAY AMPUTATION MEALS

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  I would have a barbecue with my leg and invite all my friends

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:**  what friends

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  >:O YOU GUYS

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:**  but you're our dad

 **ambuLANCE:**  you are our dad

 **KazooKid:**  you're our dad!

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:**  BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE

 **ambuLANCE:**  that's one for amputation bbq

 **She'sAKillerQueen:**  That's cannibalism!

 **ambuLANCE:**  no it's not

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:**  if your leg had to be amputated for medical reasons, why not eat it while it's there?

 **ambuLANCE:**  we've got another one bois 

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** put it on a rotisserie stand, cook it for all to see

 **KazooKid:**  evil

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  me at the hospital getting my leg amputated: I'M GONNA HAVE A GREAT BARBECUE WHEN YOU'RE DONE

 **ambuLANCE:** bring a whole case of soda into the hospital room and the doctors are like "oh what's that for?

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** hMMm

 **KazooKid:** no! what if you gave birth and ate your placenta?!

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** hunk, it's literally only a part of a women's body while she's pregnant and until she gives birth

 **KazooKid:** it still counts!

 **ambuLANCE:** ok, so we've got 4 for eating your amputated limb, and 2 for not eating it

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** i like those odds

 **AcxauallyILikeGirls:** I wouldn't eat it, because I'd be too traumatized

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** understandable

 **ButterflyElf:** I agree with Acxa, Krolia says that she does too.

 **HoneyNutShirios:** just asked coran, he said "why not"

 **ambuLANCE:** :)

 **Mattsquito:** well, i guess it depends on the reason my leg would be amputated in the first place. if there was cancer or some disease in my leg, i wouldn't eat it. but if it was just amputated cause i felt like it, then hell yeah

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** choose a side dickhead 

 **Mattsquito:** crunchity munchity

 **ambuLANCE:**  eat that leg: 6, don't eat that leg: 5

 **ambuLANCE:** get wrecked

 **KazooKid:** i still can't believe you even came up with the idea

 **ambuLANCE:** me neither 

 **HoneyNutShirios:** at this point, it was kind of expected

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** since we're all ready to leave, let's meet up so we can make sure we have everyone and everything

 **ambuLANCE:** how about that big fountain in the middle of the mall?

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** good idea

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** yeet

 **KazooKid:** on our way

 **HoneyNutShirios:** ^

 **ButterflyElf:** Be there soon!

 

 »●°.※✩※.°●«

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh yeah, since romelle's family got harvested of their quintessence and now they're all dead, romelle became like a little sister to keith and a daughter to krolia, and she thinks of them as her adopted mom and big brother
> 
> so now they're a lil happy family


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm love klance 
> 
>  
> 
> pidge could take over the world and i'd thank her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Username Key!  
> Shiro = HoneyNutShirios  
> Keith = InterGAYlactoseIntolerant  
> Lance = ambuLANCE  
> Pidge = UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus  
> Hunk = KazooKid  
> Allura = She’sAKillerQueen  
> Coran = CoranicMechanic  
> Romelle = ButterflyElf  
> Krolia = PurpleCrayon  
> Matt = Mattsquito  
> Acxa = AcxauallyILikeGirls  
> Shay = Shay
> 
> Ships!  
> Keith/Lance (Klance)  
> 

_UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus > ambuLANCE _

**UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** hey

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** hey

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** heyyyyyyy

 **ambuLANCE:** what’s up pidge

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** you’re in love

 **ambuLANCE:** yes

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** with keith

 **ambuLANCE:** ,

 **ambuLANCE:** yes wtf you know this already

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** y’know, i enjoy watching you suffer because of it

 **ambuLANCE:**  bold of you to assume i'm suffering

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:**  ',:\ mhmm

 **ambuLANCE:** and yes, i am suffering

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** all this pining has gotten me thinking, if you two were the last people on Earth you STILL wouldn’t tell eachother

 **ambuLANCE:** i love him, but he doesn’t love me back

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** ( ≖_≖) ok

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** anyway, sure would be a shame

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** if someone came along

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** and did something about it

 **ambuLANCE:** nope permission refused request denied

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** too late

 

 

 

_Ungrateful Ants_

**UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:**  yo lance

 **ambuLANCE:** bls

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** i must say, keith looks very attractive today, don’tcha think?

 **HoneyNutShirios:** oop-

 **ambuLANCE:** stop NO

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** lance, is it hot in here or is it just keith?

 **ambuLANCE:** NOt IN THE MaIn CHAt

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** “he’s our leader, plus he’s half galra, so i think he’s the future”

 **ambuLANCE:** pidge i swear to god

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** gee, the sexual tension you created when you started that ‘rivalry’ has been getting prETTy strong

 **ambuLANCE:** say 1 more thing and i’ll slaughter you

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** nah, i’ll beat you up

 **ambuLANCE:** you’re the shortest person here

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** i’ll break your kneecaps bitch

 **HoneyNutShirios:** please don’t do that

 **She'sAKillerQueen:** this is… quite entertaining

 **HoneyNutShirios:** allura don’t encourage them

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus** **:** besides, i bet you just want a certain someone to cradle you in his arms again when i knock you unconscious

 **ambuLANCE:** that’s it

 **KazooKid:** why did lance just bolt away from the campsite screeching and cursing in spanish?

 **KazooKid:** wait nvm

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** OH

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** OH SHIT

**KazooKid:**

**HoneyNutShirios:**

**ambuLANCE:**

**She'sAKillerQueen:**

**InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** hey where the fuck did my marmora blade go

 **ambuLANCE:** uhhh… i might have some idea

 **HoneyNutShirios:** lance I swear to god if you used it against pidge

 **Mattsquito:** don’t swear shiro

 **ambuLANCE:** i didn’t kill her! i may or may not have maimed her,, slightly

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** WHAT IN TARNATION

 **KazooKid:** ………….. cowboy keith has been spotted

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** sTOP

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** yo guys chill

 **KazooKid:** oh thank goodness

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** im fine, just threatened a bit

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** what the hell why'd you threaten pidge

 **ambuLANCE:** nO rEAsOn

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:**  you can’t hide from the Thoughts™ forever ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** ?

 **ambuLANCE:** hoppin out now bye bitch

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** gdi

 **Mattsquito:** HICKORY DICKORY DOCK

 **Mattsquito:** A MOUSE RAN UP MY COCK

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus** **:** get out or i’ll get green to step on you

 **Mattsquito:** HICKORY DICKORY DOCK

 **Mattsquito:**  THAT'S BETTER THAN BEING MOCKED

 _[ **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus**_   _removed_ **_Mattsquito_  ** _from Ungrateful Ants_ _]_

 **ambuLANCE:** MATT

 **ambuLANCE:** pidge how dare you

 _[_ ** _ambuLANCE_ ** _added_ **_Mattsquito_ ** _to_ _Ungrateful Ants_ _]_

 **ambuLANCE:** pay the price bitch

 _[_ ** _ambuLANCE_ ** _removed **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus**_ _from_ _Ungrateful Ants_ _]_

 **Mattsquito:** the evil has been defeated

 **ambuLANCE:** my crops are flourishing

 **Mattsquito:** my skin is clear

 **ambuLANCE:** i’m sleeping soundly at night

 **Mattsquito:** i have 20/20 vision

 **ambuLANCE:** my depression is cured

 **Mattsquito:** my chicken is seasoned

 _[ **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus**_ _has added **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus**_ _to_ _Ungrateful Ants_ _]_

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** the plagues have been set upon the world

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** the apocalypse is nearing

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** your life spans have been shortened

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** your healths have been hacked

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** your happiness is a hoax

 **HoneyNutShirios:** how the fuck did you get back in here

 **InterGAYlactic:** that’s another quarter in the swear jar shiro

 **HoneyNutShirios:** is there enough money to go to disney world yet

 **InterGAYlactic:** no but even if there was i wouldn’t be bringing you

 **HoneyNutShirios:** D’:

 **HoneyNutShirios:** wHo IN sPA cE Is MoRe iM Po rTant THanN Y oUR oWN bro oThEr???

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** someone :)

 **ambuLANCE:** :D

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** you dare oppose me mortal

 **HoneyNutShirios:**  ,,,,, no

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** that's what i thought

 **Mattsquito:** i dare oppose 

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** so you have chosen.... death

 **Mattsquito:** you're like, 0.5 centimeters tall

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** lOW BLOW

 **Mattsquito:** a) the only hits you can deliver, and b) i can't use any other ones on you because i'll be swinging at open air, because you're short

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** fight me holt

 **Mattsquito:** square up holt

 **ambuLANCE:** man i miss my siblings

 **HoneyNutShirios:** you'll get to see them soon

 **KazooKid:** oh! i gotta catch veronica up on all of your space shenanigans

 **KazooKid:** not,,,, that we gossip about you or anything,,,,,,

 **ambuLANCE:** HUNK NO

 **KazooKid:**  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **ambuLANCE:** you make me sad

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** i'll save you!

 **ambuLANCE:** my knight in shining armor!

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** [picks you up bridal style and carries you to safety]

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** stop flirting in the group chat go do it somewhere else

 **ambuLANCE:** buHWAHGUH- WE WEREN'T FLIRTING

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** ,,,,,,, sure, whatever floats your boat

 **ambuLANCE:** HSHDHAKJCHDHHZDNNSSNNFNJSNBDNFNSNBXDBNDEE IISKCN WHAT

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** hm?

 **ambuLANCE:** WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** nothing, sharpshooter

 **ambuLANCE:** i

 **ambuLANCE:** you

 **ambuLANCE:** wh

 **HoneyNutShirios:** keith you broke him

 **ambuLANCE:** what

 **ambuLANCE:** what the fuck

 **ambuLANCE:** are, are you flirting with me???

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** i don't know cargo pilot, am i?

 **ambuLANCE:** hnnn i uh

 **ambuLANCE:** gottagodosomething

 **ambuLANCE:** BYE

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** see you on the flip side, sharpshooter

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** that's insufferable, i love it

 

 »●°.※✩※.°●«

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm really sorry that i keep neglecting hunay and romellura to focus on klance
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> haha no i'm not :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY I'M BACK I HAD TO BE SACRIFICED IN A CULT RITUAL AND NOW I'M IN HELL
> 
> THEY'VE GOT CANON KLANCE AND FREE WIFI DOWN HERE
> 
> IT'S GREAT  
>  
> 
>  
> 
> ok but seriously, this took longer than i thought because it was so hard to figure out the dialogue for lance's confession, and it's not necessarily a 'normal chapter' because it's not in our beloved chat form. nonetheless, this will definitely warm all of your broken hearts that are in need of healing
> 
>  
> 
> you're welcome, hoes
> 
>  
> 
> songs that i listened to writing this chapter: 
> 
> \- slow dancing in the dark by joji (♡)  
> \- dizzy on the comedown by turnover (♡♡♡)  
> \- avalanche by walk the moon  
> \- choking on flowers by fox academy  
> \- cherry pepsi by saint pepsi  
> \- bloom by the paper kites (♡)  
> \- romantic streams by sleep over  
> \- showers of rain by oohyo (♡)
> 
> you should definitely check these out, and the (♡)s next to some of them mean that those are my favorites out of this little list. if you couldn't tell, dizzy on the comedown by turnover is my overall favorite.

 

÷÷※♡※÷÷

 

It was a little breezy on Fvanog, the planet that the Paladins and others were setting up camp for the night. The air and atmosphere was warm, and the breeze felt nice whenever it hit skin. Keith, dressed in his Paladin armor (minus the chest plate and arm pieces), made his way towards the beach close by. The night before, he had been thinking about Lance more than usual, as if he hadn't already been doing it routinely anyway. Keith knew that he needed to confess before anything bad happened, because they were taking part in a dangerous war where incidents and casualties were common. He hoped it would be good to confess on Fvanog specifically, since it was a very beachy planet and the beach was one of Lance's favorite places in the universe.

 

Keith reached the beach, which was just some tiny dunes and grass with the sea not too far away. He glanced around, spotting Lance sitting on a grassy hill nearby. Taking a deep breath to psyche himself up a bit, Keith walked over and sat down beside Lance. Keith sat with his knees up and his arms looped around them, his left hand grabbing his right forearm, his right hand dangling loosely.

 

The current Red Paladin jumped a little before relaxing once he saw who the newcomer was. He then flashed Keith a bright, beautiful smile. "Oh, hey!" 

 

"Hey." He replied, trying to keep his voice level, which wasn't easy because ( _damn,_ _the sunlight is hitting Lance just right that he's glowing, and oh my god his eyes are like the ocean but prettier and Keith is drowning, and his heart skips a beat because Lance is looking at him, he's looking at Keith with those beautiful blue eyes, and Keith is so far gone, he desperately wants to lace his fingers with Lance and hold him and protect him and cherish him and love him and—)_

 

_(Jesus, Keith, calm yourself. Now muster up what little courage you have, because once it's gone there's no way you can get it back again. Just confess and get it over with—)_

 

Keith wasn't really sure of what to say next, but Lance opened his mouth and saved Keith from having to struggle. "And how is the bravest boy in the universe doing on this fine evening?" Keith could feel his eyes widen a little and heat rushed to his face, because woah, why did Lance have to be so cute and make him feel these things? Lance was trying to act confident, but Keith could see the nervousness and fear in his gaze.

 

 _(What the fuck, what the_ fuck,  _is he_ flirting  _with me??—)_

 

_(Yes, he's flirting with you, you idiot—)_

 

_(No! He just thinks of you as his friend, nothing more! He does this with Hunk all the time!—)_

 

 _(No, no, Lance is nervous, and he's never nervous when he does this kind of stuff with Pidge, Hunk and sometimes Coran. Hell, he's blushing,_ blushing!!!—)

 

As Keith went back and forth with himself, he began to notice that the Cuban boy's expression was starting to fall. Before it got any farther, Keith smirked coyly. He was never good at flirting, and Lance was actually the first person ever that Keith took a romantic interest in. He had tried flirting with Lance many times before, but it wasn't until he got back from the Quantum Abyss that he was successful in making Lance flustered.

 

"Oh I don't know, how  _are_ you?" Keith said smoothly, even though he was flipping his shit on the inside.

 

"Buh— Wha— I was talking about you!" Lance spluttered, and Keith caught the reddish tint that was settled on those tan cheeks.

 

"Yeah, I know." Keith's smirk grew wider at the reaction.

 

"You just had to one up me, didn't you?" Lance deadpanned, a smile betraying him as it was currently sneaking its way onto his face.

 

_(Yep, leave it to Lance to bring up the stupid rivalry—)_

 

"If it meant catching you off guard like that, then yes." Keith closed his eyes and tilted his head as he answered. 

 

"Is that why you like to throw knives at people? So you can watch them lose their cool?" Lance teased, not unkindly.

 

Keith's tone and expression changed into something serious. "No, that's entirely different, Lance, and you know it." 

 

"Yeah..." The Cuban trailed off awkwardly. The pair fell into silence for a minute. Keith looked to his left and watch Lance as he stared longingly towards the water lapping at the sand. His smile was small and closed, until it slowly fell as his gaze turned thoughtful. Suddenly, Lance turned back to Keith, which had the latter squeaking in surprise.

 

"Sooo, what's up?" He asked, amusement glittering in his gaze at the embarrassing noise the current Black Paladin had made.

 

"Just..." An idea formed giddily in Keith's mind as he remembered a snippet of a private text conversation he had with Lance once, when he accidentally outed himself as preferring to take Lance to Disney World instead of Shiro. "Checking in on my favorite person."

 

Lance snapped his head away so that Keith couldn't see his face turning into a tomato. "Sh- shut up." He stammered, with no real bite to it.

 

Keith chuckled warmly. "Seriously though, I actually want to know how you're doing."

 

Lance turned back to him with an eyebrow raised, the red tint still dusting his cheeks. "You sure you aren't just trying to get an excuse to talk to Red?" He teased, with a lilt to his playful tone that Keith had never really noticed before.

 

Keith twisted around just enough to see Red in the distance, sitting with the other Lions in a circle. "Nah, I'm not worried about her. She's in good hands." He then looked back to the other boy. "I trust you to handle her impulsiveness and hot headed temper."

 

Lance seemed shocked for a second, but his mouth formed a small, fond smile and his eyes became half-lidded. "If I can handle you, then I think I can definitely handle Red." He joked with a soft undertone to his voice.

 

Keith gasped in mock offense. "Was that an insult?!" He cried, trying his best to amuse Lance again. He just wanted to hear that beautiful laugh again.

 

Instead, his gaze turned a little sly, but still fond. "Maybe......"

 

Keith tilted his head back and raised the back of his hand to his forehead dramatically. "Oh no, however will I go on?" He whined monotonously, desperately trying to keep a straight face as Lance snickered in the background. 

 

They fell back into a comfortable silence for another minute or so. Then, as the tension was stacking up and the air was growing heavier with it, Lance broke the quiet once again with a solemn sigh.

 

"Listen, man.... I have something that I've been holding back from you, and I need to tell you now before I lose my chance, but I really don't wanna fuck this up and-" 

 

"Lance, just say it. I'm here for you, you know that right? I won't judge you." Keith said calmly, which was surprising since his internal monologue was currently just screeching.

 

Lance look scared, _shit_  he could tell that Lance was really, really scared. "I, okay. So... um... you know how......... Uh, so, I....... ugh! I can't speak today."

 

Keith put his hand on top of Lance's, who looked down and bit his lip. _(Stopstaringstopstaringstopstaring—)_ "It's okay, take your time."

 

Lance took a deep breath, seeming to psych himself up, and let it out with his eyes closed. When he opened them, they were glistening with unshed tears. He raised his face towards Keith, still not looking at him. 

 

"You know," Lance began. "I'm really glad you came back."

 

Keith smiled. "Yeah, me too. But, I guess I'm also thankful I left."

 

"I get it, you were able to find your mom and adopted a cool, cosmic space wolf." Lance said softly, even though his expression was pained, turning his face to stare numbly at the sea. His tone turned bitter and solemn as he went on. "But it still kinda hurt. We were just beginning to get closer and you seemed to not actually hate me, until you just up and left." Keith opened his mouth to protest, but was stopped by Lance's hand raising up in a halting motion. "No, let me speak. I'm on a roll here. I had worried enough already before you left, as in, you know," he huffed, "Throwing yourself headfirst into battle without thinking and getting all reckless and badass. At least then I was able to watch your back, but I couldn't do that when you left. And we all know the Blades are famous for caring about their team members' safety." Lance bit out sarcastically, albeit a little darkly. 

 

"I was so scared, Keith. I, I-" He stammered, struggling to get the words out, and the Black Paladin knew that Lance was trying to fight against the lump building in his throat. "It's pretty much impossible to count the amount of times that I worry about something happening to you. I mean, I worry about that all the time in general, but I wouldn't be able to bear it if you got really hurt. I was so upset when you got back from your fight with Shiro's clone, and you were limping and you had your scar, which was pretty nasty at the time. I was scared shitless, man."

 

Lance then turned the hand under Keith's around, lacing them together with intertwining fingers before speaking again. "You have no idea how important you are to me." Lance looked into Keith's eyes, his own glistening a somber, serious storm of dark, navy blues. "I need you, Keith."

 

The paler boy was speechless. He had no idea how to answer  _that_ , and he didn't think he was physically able to. Not when Lance was staring deeply into his eyes, and Keith felt like leaping with joy at how much this sounded like a confession. But he was rooted to the spot. So he just gazed back in shock, unresponsive.

 

He was knocked back into reality when Lance frowned at the reaction and lowered his eyes. "I just need you to know that... I love you. I have for a long time, and I understand that you probably don't feel the same. It's just, with everything that's been happening between us lately, whether romantic or not, I couldn't bear going another minute without you knowing." 

 

Keith blinked, still a little dazed. 

_(Oh my god._ Oh _, my god. He, he just... Holy shit, Lance loved him back? I'm dreaming, this is all a dream. I should be waking up any second now, ha ha very funny brain, thanks_ _—_ _But, what if this_ is _real? I can't just sit here and do nothi_ _—_ _)_

His internal monologue was cut off as Lance ripped his hand away from Keith and stood abruptly, his eyebrows furrowed tightly as tears streamed down his cheeks. 

 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I'll leave now, and we can forget this ever happened." His tone was rushed and wretched, his eyes were reddish and were plagued by dark circles, and he wore an anguished smile. "You, you can hate me as much as you want. I know that my feelings aren't mutual, and I've accepted that. I've tried to get over it but I just can't, and I don't think I ever will." Lance sniffed, dragging an arm across his face, momentarily stopping the flow of waterfall-like tears. "I'm sorry _—_ " He repeated, voice breaking off entirely. 

 

Before Lance could turn, Keith grabbed his arm to stop him. "Lance, wait!" The way that Lance looked at him then, as if bracing himself for the worst, made Keith want to punch Lance's doubts in the face. This whole moment reminded him of those romantically cliche scenes on TV where someone would be trying to leave and their romantic interest would grab their arm, the first person would turn around and some sweet words would be exchanged, and then they would hug or kiss or something. ...... Maybe this was the romantically cliche scene of Keith's life story. 

 

Yeah, there was no denying that at all.

 

Keith gazed into Lance's eyes, but the other boy was looking down fearfully. Cautiously, he stepped closer to the shaking Paladin, sliding his hand down gently to Lance's while his left hand mimicked the action and took Lance's other one. "I just want to start by saying that I'm sorry for what I said in that stupid game show." 

 

Lance flinched at first before furrowing his brows, confusion rolling off of him in waves. "Keith, you don't _—_ "

 

"No, let me speak. I'm on a roll here." The latter interrupted, and the Red Paladin smiled a little shakily when Keith repeated Lance's earlier statement. "I know you probably took it the wrong way. I accidentally overheard Pidge talking to Allura about how you thought I blatantly meant I didn't want to spend eternity with you, and that it bothered you. I don't regret what I said or why I said it, but I do regret how I worded it."

 

Keith continued, pushing on with a lighter energy as he saw that tiny sliver of hope beginning to appear in Lance's eyes. "I really meant that I didn't want  _you_  to be stuck there forever. I want  _you_  to see Earth again and be reunited with your family. Out of all of us, I know that you'd be the one with the ability to convince people to join the Coalition, because you can be really persuasive. You're our cool ninja sharpshooter  _and_  our goofball. You're good at being strategic without having to think about it before, and you always end up being right about situations because you went with your gut feelings. You're the one who can take our minds off of things for a while, and you relieve the tension and make us laugh. You are the glue that holds this team together, and without you we'd all be off doing our own things and drowning in stress and we'd go crazy, and I'd have probably been dead by the second week. You are so selfless, admirable, loving, and the most amazing person I know."

 

"I chose you to leave because I didn't want you to be trapped inside such a nightmare-inducing place, you deserve to be out there saving worlds and leading the Coalition in the war. Besides, that Bob guy was an utter jerk, and you are  _not_ dumb, you hear me?" Lance nodded, smiling gratefully and a little more relaxed. There was still that fear he was holding though, and he was still bracing himself for possible heartbreak. Keith wouldn't allow any of that.

 

"Lance, I chose you to leave over everyone else. If I really didn't want to be there with you I would have just picked myself to leave. You're my first choice, you always were." Keith huffed a quiet laugh, still barely able to believe that this was real, and that his romantic feelings were returned. He smiled fondly and Lance did the same, despite it being slightly shaky as the tear tracks dried on his cheeks.

 

Keith leaned in a little closer and gazed a little more intensely into Lance's eyes, conveying his emotions to him. Then his gaze softened as well as his tone of voice when he spoke again. "I chose you because I love you, Lance. I love you so, so much." And that was when Keith's own tears broke free. "And even though it sounds cheesy, you complete me. You brighten my whole world and fill in the gaps of my soul. I need you as much as you need me."

 

Letting go of Lance's hand, Keith brought his right one up to the Cuban's face, who was watching him carefully in a trance-like state. His hand found Lance's cheek, which was shiny with the ghost of a drying stream, and wiped away a stray tear he found there with his thumb. Lance dropped Keith's other hand and brought his own up to Keith's face, settling it on the cheek opposite of the one adorned by the long scar that began from his chin and stopped below his eye, the scar that he had gotten fighting Shiro's clone. 

 

It was when Lance's breath caressed his cheeks that Keith registered how close their faces were. He always knew that those eyes gazing into his own were oceans of blue, but now he could pick out all the little details. They were mainly navy blue with hues of a color that reminded Keith of the blue spruce trees that he had seen on a nature documentary with his father long ago. He always thought that Lance looked like summer. He couldn't describe how or why, but he always thought summer. Now, however, with the soft sunlight illuminating him, all Keith could see was  _(autumn, autumn, autumn_ — _)_

And he fell in love all over again.

 

Lance began leaning in too, eyes fluttering closed. Keith shut his as well and didn't hesitate to close the distance between them. There were no fireworks, and it wasn't as exciting as people made it out to be, but this was Lance. It was just him and Keith, and that was enough. More than that, it felt _right_ , like he had finally found his eternal soulmate. Lance felt like home.

 

Lance's hands traveled down to Keith's waist and settled there, and Keith tangled his fingers into the soft, brown hair on the back of Lance's head. The latter hummed contently, and Keith's heart fluttered. He tried to fight back the smile that dared to take over. Eventually he gave in, and Lance began to smile too. They separated but didn't pull back very far, and the Red Paladin moved to place short kisses on Keith's cheek, trailing up the scar. 

 

"Lance, that tickles!" Keith whined giddily. The Cuban boy lifted his head and stared lovingly into the half-Galra's indigo eyes. 

 

"Keith," Lance started, his voice filled with emotion and expression turning hopeful. "Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

 

Keith smiled wide. "Of course!" He exclaimed affectionately and tackled Lance with a hug, sending them sprawling onto the sand. They rolled together a few feet and came to a stop. Keith was trapped under his boyfriend, who pushed himself up to his hands and knees and glanced down. He studied him for a bit, before the tan boy's face scrunched up and then he was chuckling softly.

 

"What? What's so funny?"

 

"You've got sand in your hair." Lance ruffled the mop of silky black on Keith's head for emphasis.

 

"Yeah well, you do too." Keith reached a hand up and ruffled Lance's hair as well, resulting in grains of sand to come flying down. He flinched and screwed his eyes shut, letting out a raucous splutter as he reached up to remove the sand. Lance laughed even harder. Keith scowled, pouting up at Lance. But even he couldn't keep a stoic face for long, as he gave in a few seconds later and dissolved into a fit of giggles.

 

Once they had calmed down enough, they found themselves gazing into each other's eyes. And in one swift motion, Lance lowered his head down and placed his lips on Keith's. Now this,  _this_  was what Keith had craved for for so long, and he took joy in knowing that Lance wanted it too. Keith wound his arms around Lance, carefully avoiding his hair so that he wouldn't be showered with sand again. He relished the feeling of Lance moving his mouth against his, both of them breathing through their noses with heavy puffs of air. 

 

"I love you," Lance mumbled breathlessly in between kisses. "I love you  _so goddamn_ _much_ , Keith."

 

Keith felt lightheaded and dizzy. "I lo—"

 

He was cut off by the sound of sudden whoops and hollers. Neither wanted to stop, but both boys separated their faces enough to look over at the commotion. Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, and Coran were standing together screaming at the top of their lungs, hugging each other (maybe also crying a little), while Krolia, Allura and Romelle were approaching the group to investigate.

 

"Oh shit," Lance blurted from somewhere close above, breath softly hitting Keith's nose.

 

Lance's face was the same color as a Flamin' Hot Cheeto, and Keith was certain his wasn't too far off, based on the amount of heat that resided there currently. Keith didn't really care though, he was too wrapped up in Lance (mentally and literally) to process anything else. He knew Lance looked good in red, but with that furious blush dancing across his face.... Keith really couldn't stop the words from tumbling out.

 

"You're cute." 

 

Lance looked down with an almost comical expression, eyebrows furrowed and mouth upturned.

 

"What?"

 

"I said you're cute." Keith repeated, a little shyer this time. As if he couldn't get any redder, Lance's blush deepened even more. He dropped his head down onto Keith's shoulder, muffling his response a little.

 

"Keeeeeeiiithhh! You're gonna kill meeee." He whined.

 

"Hey losers!" Pidge hollered from afar, "Get your asses over here! We're about to eat dinner and if you can't beat us to camp or at least get there in time, then you're gonna miss out on Hunk's newest recipe!!"

 

Lance lifted his head and stared at Keith. Then, he stood up carefully and Keith pushed himself up into a sitting position. Lance extended a hand out to Keith.

 

"Shall we?" He asked with a flirtatious smirk, yet he was gazing at the Black Paladin with love in his eyes. Keith took his hand and was hauled up.

 

And together, hand in hand, they bolted after the others, laughing and squeezing their palms together.

 

÷÷※♡※÷÷

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was so gut-wrenching to write :')
> 
> every time i proofread it i kept squealing 
> 
> AT MY OWN WRITING TOO, what kind of tomfuckery—
> 
>  
> 
> anyway i hope i successfully killed you all and then brought you back from the dead
> 
> don't worry though, your souls were all equally tasty
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> and now back to my bullshit  
>    
>    
> me: [writes '"I was scared shitless, man."']  
> autocorrect: [changes 'shitless' to 'shirtless']  
> me: wait what
> 
> lance: keith, i was so scared that my shirt ripped in half  
> keith: ....... [whispers] i wish i was there to see it  
> lance: what  
> keith: what  
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
> i'm gonna go take a nap for 500 years now


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oof
> 
> also, the last update was less than a week ago, AND YOU ARE GONNA REGRET NOT READING IT, so if you haven't read chapter 13 yet, just make sure you hit the 'previous chapter' button
> 
> because even though i posted ch 13 recently, i've been expecting and waiting for the comment section to blow up, and there hasn't been a single comment on it yet
> 
>  
> 
> PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU TO READ CHAPTER 13
> 
> IT'S GOOD FOR YOUR SOUL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Username Key!  
> Shiro = HoneyNutShirios  
> Keith = InterGAYlactoseIntolerant  
> Lance = ambuLANCE  
> Pidge = UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus  
> Hunk = KazooKid  
> Allura = She’sAKillerQueen  
> Coran = CoranicMechanic  
> Romelle = ButterflyElf  
> Krolia = PurpleCrayon  
> Matt = Mattsquito  
> Acxa = AcxauallyILikeGirls  
> Shay = Shay
> 
> Ships!  
> Keith/Lance (Klance)

_KazooKid > ambuLANCE_

**KazooKid:** hey are you ok?

 **KazooKid:** i'm pretty sure everyone else is asleep right now, and i can hear sobbing coming from your comm

 **ambuLANCE:** ffu ck 

 **ambuLANCE:** i tought i turne dt hem all off, i msut hav fogoten abot yours

 **KazooKid:** what's wrong lance? you can always talk to me

 **ambuLANCE:** i nkow, i was j ust thinkin bout stfuf

 **KazooKid:** are you having a panic attack?

 **ambuLANCE:** nno my scren is a lil blothcy, and ther e is salt comign out if my seieng holes

 **KazooKid:** ok, as far as i can tell you are good enough to still make jokes

 **KazooKid:** unless you're trying to cover up

 **ambuLANCE:** nno i m jus fine

 **KazooKid:** yeah i don't think so

 **ambuLANCE:** hukn i proms ie

 **ambuLANCE:** im koay 

 **KazooKid:** mmmmmmmm

 **ambuLANCE:** hunk 

 **KazooKid:** if you're sure......

 **KazooKid:** but you better text me if it gets worse

 **ambuLANCE:** yes mom

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_ Ungrateful Ants _

**ambuLANCE:** i swear to god, if i cry over something stupid one more time, i'm going to e a t  m y  h a n d

 **HoneyNutShirios:** please no don't bring that conversation up again

 **KazooKid:** don't you mean your foot 

 **ambuLANCE:** i don't wanna eat my foot!

 **ambuLANCE:** hands probably taste way better than feet

 **KazooKid:** ... understandable

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** but won't that put you at a disadvantage in a fight if you can't use your hand to shoot properly

 **ambuLANCE:** i'll do a shiro!

 **HoneyNutShirios:** what

 **ambuLANCE:** prosthetic hand 

 **HoneyNutShirios:** :\

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:**  it would definitely be easier to program a foot rather than a hand, based on the comparison of complex functions in the hand vs the not-so-complex functions in the foot, and you know how i feel about hard work,,,

**UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:**

**UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** eat your hand

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** pidgE NO

 **ambuLANCE:** I'M GONNA DO IT

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** DON'T 

 **ambuLANCE:** I WILL CHOMP

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** DO NOT CHOMP

 **ambuLANCE:** C H O M P

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** N O  C H O M P

 **ambuLANCE:** CHOMP CHOMP MOTHERFUCKERS

 **KazooKid:** oh boy

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** but,, i love your hands 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** and i love when you hold me with those soft warm hands

 **ambuLANCE:** akskndbfndbs shit u rite <3

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** :) <3

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** ok i'm happy for you two and all but this is definitely worse than when you were both helpless pining idiots

 **ambuLANCE:** i'm still helplessly pining for keith 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** wtf i'm still pining for you too :D

 **KazooKid:** [headdesk]

 **HoneyNutShirios:** wait, you said you were crying, why?

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** what

 **ambuLANCE:** oh it was just something stupid

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** spill it, bone stilts mcclain

 **KazooKid:** "bone stilts mcclain"?

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** in buzzfeed unsolved, ryan and shane make fun of each other's heights, and one of shane's nicknames is 'shane bone stilts madej' because he's so fucking tall and ryan is kinda short

 **ambuLANCE:** makes sense 

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** you're still not off the hook, bigfoot

 **ambuLANCE:** that's kinda kinky, ngl 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** yeah, do you know how many cryptid forums there are that are just full of cryptid porn 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** too many

 **ambuLANCE:** anyway, i was crying for no valid reason

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** just fucking say it

 **ambuLANCE:** ... fine

 **ambuLANCE:** i was crying over the sims 

**KazooKid:**

**UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:**

**InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:**

**HoneyNutShirios:**

**Mattsquito:**

**HoneyNutShirios:** that's valid

 **Mattsquito:** aw man the sims was great 

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** the sims was god

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** well technically, when you play, you /are/ their god, since you can control them

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** shit you're right

 **Mattsquito:** i used to be so good at the sims 

 **HoneyNutShirios:** literally all of your sims have died within a week of existing

 **Mattsquito:** shsshhshshshshhhhhsh that's a minor detail

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** all i did on the sims was find as many ways to kill people as possible, so i'm proud of you matt

 **Mattsquito:**  (ू•ᴗ•ू❁)

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** nevermind i take it back

 **Mattsquito:**  ( ✿˃̣̣̥᷄^˂̣̣̥᷅ )

 **ambuLANCE:** don't slander the man

 **HoneyNutShirios:** matt's a toddler wdym 

 **ambuLANCE:** whoops sorry 

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:**  wai- GUYS LOOK OUT YOUR WINDOWS

 **KazooKid:** IS THAT

 **ambuLANCE:** OH SHIT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **ambuLANCE:** ugh sendak

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** yeah he's an asshole

 **KazooKid:** i'm just glad that iverson's changed his attitude 

 **HoneyNutShirios:** yeah same

 **Mattsquito:** YOU GUYS ARE BACK HOME ALREADY

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** suck it matt 

 **Mattsquito:** maybe i will

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** ew, i thought you had an ai girlfriend

 **Mattsquito:** ...... that's what they want you to think

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** EW EW EW

 **KazooKid:** yeah we're back on earth now, we just finished debriefing the whole situation with the garrison 

 **Mattsquito:** oh cool, the rebels and i are actually on our way there and we should be there in about a week or two

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** oh no

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** oh no

 **ambuLANCE:** [crashes through the wall] OH YEAH

 **HoneyNutShirios:** NIGHTMARE FUEL

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** ,,,, you mean ptsd fuel

 **HoneyNutShirios:** I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU WEREN'T TERRIFIED

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** oh i was, it just doesn't haunt me anymore

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** i was more amused by your reaction

 **HoneyNutShirios:** you little shit

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** you know it

 **KazooKid:** wait what happened

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** once shiro insisted that we go trick-or-treating for halloween and wear costumes, and as we were walking down this one street, some guy dressed as the kool-aid man dropped out of a tree about couple yards away, screamed "oh yeah" at the top of his lungs, smashed a beer bottle on the ground and sprinted after us

 **HoneyNutShirios:** don't forget about that other kid in the tree with a camera

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** right, they were recording the whole thing

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** ......

 **Mattsquito:** uhh.....

**HoneyNutShirios:**

**InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:**

**HoneyNutShirios:**  matt........

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** it may or may not have been matt in the kool-aid costume and me in the tree

 **Mattsquito:**  piDGe

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** watch out shiro's fuming

 **Mattsquito:** i mean, at least i'm nowhere near you guys

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** but I AM

 **HoneyNutShirios:** :)

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** shiro 

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** blease 

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** spare me

 **HoneyNutShirios:** hmm

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** i am but a tiny squirrel, blease don't deck me

 **HoneyNutShirios:** hmm

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** ok seriously come at me and i'll fuck you up

 **HoneyNutShirios:** fine

 **CoranicMechanic:** .... Would now be a good time to say that Lance is the one responsible for putting stickers all over the Black Lion's windshield before Shiro disappeared?

 **KazooKid:** lmao 

 **ambuLANCE:** susncjbfbsjsjccxjjdCORAN

 **HoneyNutShirios:** he what

 **CoranicMechanic:** No? Oh, well then, my bad.

 **HoneyNutShirios:** he wHAT

 **HoneyNutShirios:** THAT TOOK ME 3 WHOLE MONTHS TO GET IT ALL OFF

 **ButterflyElf:** Run.

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** alckhfbcbdf

 **ambuLANCE:** aNnnzJDJCSJn SHIRO NO

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** LANCE

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** I'LL PROTECT YOU

 **ambuLANCE:** THANKS BABE

 

 

 

 

_InterGAYlactoseIntolerant > ambuLANCE_

**InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** and by i'll protect you, i mean do you wanna sit on top of black with me and watch the sunset?

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** we can cuddle

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** andmaybekissalittle......

 **ambuLANCE:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **ambuLANCE:** I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

 **ambuLANCE:** BE THERE IN 10 <3

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** love you too <3

 

 

 

 

_Ungrateful Ants_

**Mattsquito:**  wait what 

 **KazooKid:**  hey at least it's better than all the arguing and sexual tension 

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:**  i still wanna slaughter em tho 

 **KazooKid:**  you do you

 _[ **Mattsquito**  changed _Ungrateful Ants  _to_ Klance Are Dating Now?!?!? _]_

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** klance?

 **She'sAKillerQueen:** It's short for "Keith and Lance", in other words, your ship name

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** oh

**InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:**

**InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** wait why was that written so casually

 **HoneyNutShirios:** :)

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** :)

 **She'sAKillerQueen:** :)

 **KazooKid:** :)

 **CoranicMechanic:** :)

 **AcxauallyILikeGirls:** :)

 **PurpleCrayon:** :)

 **ButterflyElf:** :)

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** why am i not surprised

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** cause it's us

 **UpgradedToBridgeTrollStatus:** these kinds of things are to be expected 

 **HoneyNutShirios:** expect the unexpected

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** ok well i'm gonna go spend some quality time with my boy, so bye

 **HoneyNutShirios:** use protection xoxoxo 

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** SJDBBSNANS SHIRO NO IT'S NOT LIKE THAT

 **HoneyNutShirios:** i know, i'm just trying not to tear up in front of iverson

 **HoneyNutShirios:** i'm just so glad that you've found someone and that you're happy

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** SKCBNSKSHCHDJSHDD I'M GONNA CRY STOP THAT

 **HoneyNutShirios:** alright alright i'll stop, as long as i get a big brother hug later

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** DEAL

 **HoneyNutShirios:** now get your ass outta here and find your boyfriend

 **InterGAYlactoseIntolerant:** will do

 

÷÷※♡※÷÷

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DO YOU GUYS WANT ME TO WRITE THE ALTERNATE SUNSET SCENE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IT'S SUNSET TIME BABYYYYY

 

÷÷※♡※÷÷

 

Lance skidded to a halt in front of one of the Garrison exits and yanked the door open. Several hundred feet away sat the Black Lion, and in the dying daylight Lance could just barely make out the silhouetted shape of someone on the Lion's head. Lance smiled to himself, unable to contain the warm bubbles of happiness and excitement that lifted in his chest. Lance was almost 95% sure that sooner or later he'd float away as if he was the house from Disney's Up. It was just the little things about his boyfriend that did beautiful things to Lance's heart.

 

Lance struggled for a bit as he tried to scale the giant mechanical beast, until he saw the silhouette of the person up top stand up and come into view. Lance was then blessed with Keith reaching down and smiling as he held out his hand to save him from his struggle. 

 

 _(Fuck—)_  

 

That alone almost made Lance stumble and lose his footing. The sight of Keith made Lance weak at the knees, and even more so now that he knew Keith loved him back. Regaining his balance, Lance smiled back even wider and clasped Keith's hand. The Black Paladin hauled him up the rest of the way until they stood together on Black's head.

 

"Heh," Lance huffed softly. "I heard something about cuddling and looking at the sunset?"

 

"Yeah," Keith turned around to crouch down and grab something by the Black Lion's ear. "I brought a blanket too, you know, for if Black's head is a little uncomfortable to sit on. Or if you wanna have it wrapped around us, because even though we're in the middle of the desert, nights out here can get pretty cold." 

 

Lance put a finger on his chin as if to think. "Hm. I think, if we want to achieve optimal cuddling, we'll need to have the blanket around us." Standing with his arms stretched out behind him, holding the blanket as if they were wings, Keith smirked conspiratorially like he was plotting something. "Wait, Keith what are y-"

 

Keith lunged at him with a playful yell, and Lance definitely did  _not_ scream like a girl. It was manly, and definitely not something he would be embarrassed about. Lance was pushed onto his knees as a laughing Keith grabbed him, effectively wrapping the blanket around the both of them once it settled on Lance's left shoulder. 

 

"How, dare you." Lance laughed.

 

"Sorry." Keith said, but he was extremely  _not_  sorry, and it showed with the smile that stretched across his face.

 

"It's fine," Lance scooted closer to his boyfriend. "It was super adorable."

 

"I'm not adorable." Keith protested, leaning his head on the Cuban's shoulder, who wrapped an arm around the small of Keith's back and pulled him closer.

 

Scoffing, Lance pressed a kiss into Keith's hair. "That's where you're wrong, Samurai."

 

"What if I told you that  _you_ are adorable?" Keith said slyly.

 

The Red Paladin's face flushed a deep pink. "I'd probably combust."

 

Keith lifted his head to observe him, and his gaze settled on Lance's cheeks. "Hmm, interesting." Lance's blush deepened even more.

 

"You motherfucker." Lance said lowly, yet it was playful and not serious. Keith snickered and laid his head back onto his boyfriend's shoulder.

 

They sat in silence with their faces towards the setting sun. The hues of yellow deepened into oranges and pinks as the sky became darker behind the two boys. Before the sun set fully, Lance used his free hand to intertwine with Keith's, and set their clasped hands on his lap. Keith lifted his face to gaze at Lance again, and with lidded eyes, they moved together.

 

Their mouths met as the first star of the night appeared in the sky, twinkling faintly. It wasn't their first kiss, not even their tenth, but the two Paladins could strongly agree that they were all equally magical, and they knew it was impossible to get tired of that feeling. They pulled apart as another star came into view, and they both looked up in sync. 

 

The stars looked pretty much adjacent to each other, even though in reality they were billions of lightyears apart. One star was a bright, oceanic blue, and the other was a deep, fiery red. The small patch of sky between them was a very faint purple nebula, as if it was the result of the red and blue stars being so close together. Lance smiled softly.

 

"Hey, look." Lance nudged Keith gently and pointed at the stars with his eyes.

 

Keith gazed at the night sky in awe. "They're just like us." Lance looked at him, a little confused, but he suspected that he could kind of get what Keith was saying.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"One is red, and one is blue. They came together in love, and their relationship was purple. Just like us."

 

"But, I fly the Red Lion and you fly the Black Lion. I'm not blue anymore, Keith, and you're not red."

 

"I'm not talking about that, silly." Keith looked back at him. "You fly the Red Lion now, but that doesn't mean you're red. You were always blue, and I was always red. Who you are doesn't change, Lance. No matter what Lion you fly."

 

Keith's gaze was so filled with love, and Lance could feel himself melting when his boyfriend squeezed his hand reassuringly. Lance smiled a small, soft smile, gazing back with just as much affection.

 

"I love you, Keith." He breathed. Keith nuzzled closer into Lance's side. 

 

"I love you, too, Lance."

 

÷÷※♡※÷÷

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soft


End file.
